Hey y'all! It's Rachel here — your friendly, neighborhood human-shaped bundle of emotions.
Everyone in xoLand is super-busy and stressed out these days! (Why do you think Marci has been "giving" the Open Thread to other people recently?) Is there anything in the world more BORING than talking about how busy you are? NO! But here we go.
I've been super-stressed lately, and by lately, I mean the last 20 or so years. My general level of stress has less to do with my job or the amount of obligations I've committed to at any given moment, and more to do with my shitty time-management skills.
I've gotten a LOT better at feeling organized as of late, but I still have the level of dread-panic I maintained in days past when I treated my day planner the way I treat my cell phone after I text a dude I have feelings for. (Throw it across the room. Pretend it never existed. Immediately chug a Miller High Life. Repeat ad infinitum.)
Lately, my stress levels have been a bit off-the-charts because I have a lot of expenses and traveling coming up. (Hashtag wedding season, am I right?) I've been getting less sleep than I need and probably a lot less daily nutrients than a human requires, too. Ugh.
Anyway. Stress sucks. It makes me act like an insane person. Last week, I got, like, 14 hours of sleep total between Monday and Friday. This week, I did a little better, but I'm definitely still catching up.
In the past month or so, three of my doctors have told me to be less stressed. And you know what? THAT STRESSES ME OUT.
A doctor telling me to be less stressed is about as useful as Truvy's vet telling her to have less of a uterus. (P.S. My lil' baby Truvy finally gets spayed on Monday, after months of health problems preventing it from happening. And hopefully a few of my stresses will be removed along with her reproductive system!)
I'm TRYING to be less stressed. I meditate, I go to yoga, I drink water, I eat well, I avoid men. (Except the three men I live with, that is. Shoutout to my roommate Bryan, who owns the sofa in the photo above. He demanded royalties from any profits I make from said photo, because he doesn't understand how freelance writing works. #Engineers. IDK.)
I feel like stress affects women differently than it affects men. The pressure to be "killin' it" seems to negatively affect most of my working female friends. I asked two of my dude roommates (dudemates?) how they handle stress, and they responded almost immediately to let me know they rarely feel stress, which was so foreign to me I demanded they repeat it. Then, they let me know how each of them handle work stresses.
Jeremy: "I listen to music. A lot of R&B. D'Angelo gets me through so much."
(He's not lying. D'Angelo is literally the only music on his phone.)
Bryan: "I just jerk off. Oh, and yoga."
I feel like Bryan's onto something here. Like, does he do them both at the same time? He has incredibly low blood pressure so I trust him. Anyway. Now all you ladies know that my roommate has low blood pressure, a functioning dick, and a sick-ass sofa, so message me if you're into that sort of thing. He's single.
And so with this open thread, I ask of you, sweet commenters, please help me learn to C-H-I-L-L.
You can ask any of my ex-therapists or ex-boyfriends or current-roommates: I am the least chill woman ever born. But it seems to be a skill worth learning, and so I beseech you:
- How do you ease your stress levels?
- How's your blood pressure lately? I just got mine DOWN to 130/82.
- Wanna teach me to relax? Should I take up knitting or something?
- Wanna date my roommate? He drives a sweet van.