Most of the time it's great being a girl (or a guy who enjoys the finer, more feminine aspects of life—hi Tynan!). You can play with makeup and hair, change your look all the time, and enjoy lots of fun and soothing beauty rituals.
Sometimes, though, I stumble upon a beauty product or routine that makes me go, "Wait. Who thought this was a good idea?" My grandma always said that you must suffer to be beautiful and boy, she wasn't kidding.
Here are the top 10 beauty rituals and tools that scare the living daylights out of me:
1. Eyelash curlers
When I was a little kid, the first beauty item that ever frightened me was the eyelash curler. I remember watching my older cousin stick this medieval torture device right into her eye and being horrified.
Now I know it's no big deal--in fact, I'd refuse to be without one--but I still think they look pretty scary.
Bleach can be scary for a lot of reasons. First of all, it can really sting, and secondly nobody wants to end up with ramen hair.
I've mostly gotten over my fear of bleach since I had to use it so much when I went blonde. Now I know I can handle the pain and I'm pretty confident that I won't mess up and end up with orange or damaged hair. I even used it on my 10-year-old sister.
I've only ever gotten a manicure once (for prom) and I've never gotten a pedicure--and I hope to god it stays that way. A stranger touching me, snipping at my cuticles, possibly even making small talk: WORST FEARS. Why bother when I can paint my own nails perfectly well myself?
I have the same fears regarding pedicures, only worse. I don't take good care of my feet because I'm just a simple country girl who runs around outside barefoot with her dog. I shudder to think what they would do to my feet.
Oh, and you can forget about those foot-nibbling fish pedicures.
I've read so many horror stories about facials. Plus I have very sensitive skin. I am not letting anyone touch my face.
Plus, the idea of someone squeezing gunk out of my pores for me just makes me want to dive under the covers and never leave my bed again.
A few years ago, I liked to marvel at these strange tools at Sephora and wonder what function they could possibly serve. Whatever it was, it had to be painful.
Then a brand kindly sent me one, and I learned that 1) they're called extractors, 2) they are called that because they literally extract pus from your zits, and 3) HELL NO.
I have not used it. Too afraid of scarring and also OUCH.
6. Tampons and menstrual cups
TMI time! (Is there such a thing on xoVain?) I refused to use tampons after my first attempt in college made me faint and nauseous. The threat of TSS is scary stuff. I thought I was resigned to a lifetime of wearing pads every month, but then I heard about the Diva cup.
At first I didn't even consider it an option because tampons had made me wary of shoving stuff up there. But recently I decided to try a Diva cup and I'm glad I did. It is a little scary at first but in the end, you get to know your body better (not to mention how convenient they are).
7. Contact lenses
I wear glasses and I don't mind them, but I have to admit contact lenses would make certain things easier (like being able to see and work out during fitness classes). Still, the idea just squicks me out too much and I can't do it.
I only just conquered the menstrual cup; I'm not ready to be putting things on my eyeballs too, OK? One invasive thing at a time.
Most forms of hair removal suck, in my opinion. Waxing has got to be the worst. Sometimes brands are nice enough to send me things, but sadly I have to admit that waxing kits go in the "Give away to crazy people" pile along with extractors.
I've heard that lasers can be beneficial for those with rosacea (like me!) in addition to hair removal. Too bad I'm too scared to try it. I don't want to have my face zapped into a charred mess, thankyouverymuch.
Maybe it's not that bad and I'm exaggerating it in my head... But I'm too afraid to Google it.
I can also safely say that I will never get Botox. Needles are at the top of my irrational fears list.
Sadly this means that piercings and tattoos are also out. I had my ears pierced when I was too young to be scared; if only I could have gotten some awesome tattoos done at the same time. I guess I'll just have to stick with temporary tattoos.
Now that you guys know what a big ol' scaredy cat I am. Sure, I'll shave my head in a heartbeat but I won't go to a spa, get a manicure, or wax my legs. Beauty writing was a weird choice for me, I know.
- What beauty products or rituals scare you?
- Have you managed to overcome any of your beauty fears?