Dope Idea: Rolling Papers Are Totally Blotting Papers

They're cheap, they work, and they're everywhere.
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Annie
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They're cheap, they work, and they're everywhere.

People really need to give stoners a break. I'm not sure where this lazy-ass, good-for-nothing criminal rep came from, but some of the more brilliant people on the planet smoke grass. For real.

Brilliant. 

Brilliant. 

It's a more effective medicine than, like, MORPHINE, which just sounds terrifying to me. And electrical-tape-nippled P!nk will tell you three times in the span of four minutes that it makes you itch. Weed doesn't make people violent; if you're doing it right, it won't hurt your lungs; and I hear it's fun as hell. I could start getting political, but you didn't come here for that.

You, a dope bitch, came here to figure out how to keep your T-zone on lock.

OK, you'll wanna start by grabbing your handbag. Dig around in the bottom for a flat-ish rectangular cardstock box. Not finding one? Move on to your next handbag. There, see? I knew they were somewhere.

I prefer Zig Zags, but you know, work with what you got. 

I prefer Zig Zags, but you know, work with what you got. 

Now just, like, take a piece and blot it on your nose like you did with those blue plastic-y sheets in junior high.

They'll absorb just as much grease, you grease babe. 

They'll absorb just as much grease, you grease babe. 

They're way cheap multitaskers that you can get at any bodega, gas station, drugstore, most delis, and, well duh your handbag, or a buddy's handbag. Or center console. They're everywhere. You're welcome.