Today I Am An Amorphous Blob And I'm Training Our New Intern

And I've got TWO products to give to one of you.
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Annie
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And I've got TWO products to give to one of you.

These glasses make the computer screen look really weird. 

These glasses make the computer screen look really weird. 

I'm barely hanging on today, it's been a long weekend of after parties and oh, don't I sound so fabulous? I want all of you to know that I was at these amazing fashion week parties because it makes me seem really well-connected and cool. Reality is that I have terrible social anxiety at huge parties full of people I don't know, let alone FASHION PEOPLE whose sole goal for the night is to look and be as phenomenal as possible.

It's cool though, Natasha Lyonne* was real chill. I didn't talk to her (social anxiety, remember?), but she was just like standing around being unassuming and hot. Ahh, celebrities! They're just like us! Ya, until your boyfriend is schmoozing with Ashley Smith because he wants a photo of her gap teeth, and all you see are legs and boobs and blonde. Real smart to have your party on a freaking PIER, OC! JUST IN CASE ANY SHORT CHICK IN NEED OF A SHOWER, HAIR CUT, AND FACIAL SURROUNDED BY SUPERMODELS NEEDS TO JUMP OFF OF IT.

Also, Skarsgard the Vampire was there. I think... his(?) entrance was very swift and vampire-ish and I never like to stare at celebrities too long or take their picture because I feel that it is my job to act aloof and disinterested so as to make them feel like normal humans. Also probably because I take myself way too seriously. Who else should I name drop? I was within six feet of Rihanna's fashion mullet, it's pretty long at the moment. I also saw a bunch of people that I know solely from Instagram, but I'm not quite sure if that qualifies them as famous.

Don't you DARE accuse me of not putting effort into my appearance today. I covered an open wound on my foot with a bandaid AND rolled my sweatshirt sleeves before leaving the apartment. 

Don't you DARE accuse me of not putting effort into my appearance today. I covered an open wound on my foot with a bandaid AND rolled my sweatshirt sleeves before leaving the apartment. 

Yikes, I'm making the weekend sound miserable. It was nice, and OC put on a great show and party and it was great to see all the homies and not have to pay for drinks. It WASN'T fun sardined on the train this morning at 9:00, but that's what glasses and huge sweatshirts are for. No eye contact, and probably no body contact either, the billowy blob creates a good 4 inch buffer between you and the strange man to your side and the other strange man to your front. They become flustered upon sweatshirt contact because women freak them out and will stop inching into your personal space so as not to expand the area of contact.

Today I'm giving away Too Faced Lip Injection COLOR BOMB! in Candy Burst, a girly light pink, and their Primed & Poreless primer. 

Today I'm giving away Too Faced Lip Injection COLOR BOMB! in Candy Burst, a girly light pink, and their Primed & Poreless primer. 

You know the drill, or maybe not so I'll tell you: be over 18 and live in the U.S. first, then take a selfie and talk about yourself in the comments. Sorry, I'm not being very creative today but let's face it, that's what happens regardless of what I ask you to post.

Congrats to Allie Santiago for winning the Seche Vite top coat! I'm going to send out all the prizes tomorrow, ugh I know I'm SORRY I'M THE WORST. I was going to do it today, but we had our gorgeous new intern, Megan start and I got to hang out with her all day instead.

All together now: "HI, MEGAN!"

All together now: "HI, MEGAN!"

We tried to do a double selfie with both of us in frame but that got awkward. We just met, it's hard to give sexy faces to the same camera, you know?

*Isn't it adorable how I spell celebrities' names incorrectly? I'm honestly not entirely sure about the punctuation in that last sentence.