If The Somme Institute Is A Cult, Consider Me Recruited

The 5-step skincare regimen that fully deserves every raving devotee it has (and I'm the latest).
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Jesse
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The 5-step skincare regimen that fully deserves every raving devotee it has (and I'm the latest).

A couple of weeks ago, time stood still.

I saw the UPS box, and I knew these must be full-size samples. Why would they send a box this size for just a travel kit? My heart was pounding, my palms clammy; I may have had a boner.

I opened the box: five sleek, white containers with different colored circles blinded my vision.

My Somme Institute kit had arrived! I ran around my workplace showing everyone the contents, bragging, tearing up, and laughing maniacally.

“Y’all don’t understand my excitement!” I screamed. I knew my life was about to change.

That night, I threw out old jars and bottles that hadn’t been used in forever or were empty. I even pitched the empty Eve Lom cleanser jar I’ve been holding on to for the last month, hoping it would refill itself. Progress.

The Somme Institute regimen is unique because of their Molecular Dispersion Technology 5 (MDT5), which their website says is “a compound of five highly engineered vitamins (A, B3, B5, C and E) attached to specific proteins built to our specifications that target skin cell receptors, allowing these vitamins to go deep within the skin in their active forms at high concentrations. Once in the skin, these MDT5 active vitamins treat all skin types and most skin conditions.”

Count me in!

Clearly created and packaged by brilliant, design-conscious dermatologist aliens from another planet.

Clearly created and packaged by brilliant, design-conscious dermatologist aliens from another planet.

After thoroughly spraying my face with a thermal water mist, I let the Somme Ceremony (what I’ve dubbed this regimen) commence.

NOURISHING CLEANSER

The cleanser felt amazing. Gentle like a Yiayia’s touch, it moisturized and imparted a clean look to my face space, without any sort of tightness.

If silk could be liquefied, this is what it would feel like.

Beyond dissolving all makeup/dirt/oil, it acts almost as a toner, preparing your face to accept the next step.

TRANSPORT

The Transport pads are the true heroes when it comes to the regimen’s ability to clarify your skin, and I might have been most excited about this part of the process.

They allow your face to be a perfect canvas for the absorption of the serum and cream, and I love seeing all the NYC grit and grime they remove.

They’re basically snobbier Stridex pads that don’t dry my super-sensitive skin. A mild tingling occurred, but it didn’t last or turn my face red. I even feel like my irritating patch of right cheekbone blackheads (from my iPhone?) are already smaller, the space is smoother, and I can extract them easier. Victory!

I would advise, for the first week or so, to squeeze out any excess liquid on the pad before sweeping over your face and neck until your skin gets used to it. After using Somme for a couple weeks, though, I am all about the full-strength pad.

Oh, and don’t worry if you break out a little at the beginning, your skin is just detoxifying, and it needs to. This too shall pass.

SERUM

The Serum is like a vitamin shot to the face. That stuff revives you!

This magic little vial is packed with high levels of vitamin C (in addition to the MDT5, obvs) to help tremendously with tone, elasticity, collagen building, and redness relieving (the latter of which is my problem of the bunch, and the serum does wonders).

My issue with serums sometimes is the stickiness factor, which this one lacks. Two pumps dispersed on my cheeks, chin, forehead, nose and neck absorbs fully, leaving a glow that’s almost matte (how is that possible?). A satin look, if you will.

A-BOMB

A-Bomb is my favorite of the bunch. (Wait--I feel like they’re ALL my favorites.). It’s fortified with the MDT5, containing high amounts of vitamins A and E. It‘s ridiculously soothing, has almost a cooling affect, and the smell is beyond divine.

After massaging it into my skin, my face is bright, and my skin is plump and glowing. It also feels much calmer, like after-a-month-long-beach-vacation calm. Chill as F#*K, y’all.

DOUBLE DEFENSE

The final step of the Somme Ceremony is the Double Defense lotion. It has SPF 30 with UVA/UVB protection and some serious moisturizing properties. There is no dreaded chalk face like with so many other SPFs (GROSS), and it melts into your skin, leaving it ready for makeup (or not--you might not even need it with this stuff).

It can be used on your entire body, but I’m still being precious about it, so I’ll stick with something from the Duane Rizzle for that.

If you see this woman on the street and you're not into skincare regimen proselytizing, you should probably walk in another direction.

If you see this woman on the street and you're not into skincare regimen proselytizing, you should probably walk in another direction.

Overall, I am super-pleased with the five-step system. I’m hooked, and I have a feeling it’ll just get better and better with use.

Don’t fret--I’ll keep you posted. JKlivin till then, all right, all right, all right.