My boyfriend of over seven years and I have finally decided to give into societal pressures, also known as my mother. (JK, Mom, I love you!)
But seriously, my mom’s pressuring has finally taken its toll, and my boyfriend is now currently shopping for engagement rings.
It seems the hard part has fallen upon my poor boyfriend, who has to find this magical jewel that signifies his undying love for me. No pressure.
However, it has recently occurred to me that perhaps I have some preparing to do myself.
I’m sure you all know what usually happens immediately after an engagement. All together now: obligatory Facebook picture!
Oh. A kiss? Really? Well, after the kiss, one must take to the Facebook!
Right. How could I forget? After the phone call to Mom, then Facebook?
SEX?! Come on!
In any case, a recently engaged person will EVENTUALLY show off that shiny, new rock for everyone to see. And, if you’re at all like me, that ring will find itself right at home in a nest of unruly finger hair.
My gorilla hands hardly bothered me before because the hair is actually light in color and quite fine. Without bringing attention to my hands, I look like a normal, awkward ladyperson. However, an impending engagement means five, maybe even six people will scrutinize the follicular region of my ring finger.
So I have decided to eradicate the hair!
I try to avoid people as much as possible; therefore, I have decided to test out three different home remedies instead of going to a salon: Sally Hansen’s Lavender Spa Wax Kit, an epilator, and tweezers.
I’ll spare you the minor details since I assume you guys aren’t idiots and will read the directions (especially if you’ve never handled wax before). In short, heat up, let cool, spread on mound of hair.
When applying the wax, I recommend spreading a fairly thin layer in the direction of the hair. If you lay it on too thick, as I did on my first try, the only thing you’ll be waxing is the wax itself.
I had better luck the second time. If I looked closely, though, I could see little black specks of finger bush.
The wax was mostly effective, save for one or two leftover baby hairs, which I easily plucked with my tweezers.
If you don’t know, an epilator is an electronic device that is made to look like a girly piranha and whose metal teeth rotate and work to grab your hair and pull by the root. Essentially, it’s like getting tweezed by a meth addict.
To use the epilator, you place the metal edge down and run it across the area in the opposite direction of your hair growth. I have actually used an epilator on my legs before, and it was rather painful. However, on my dainty fingers, it really wasn’t so bad.
But, as with waxing, the epilator missed a couple of little baby hairs. Which brings me to…
When I tweeze, I pull in the direction of the hair. Personally, I like to pull out the hair slowly to avoid breakage before the root comes out.
Tweezing can, at times, be painful. Also, since you generally pluck one hair at a time, tweezing can be a long and painful process. Apparently, though, I am missing some nerves in my fingers and experienced very little pain while plucking my hair.
In fact, the most difficult part of tweezing was gaining enough dexterity with my left hand to pluck my right fingers. I suppose if you’re a pretty cool gal, you could ask a friend to do it for you. If only we could all be so lucky.
Epilating was definitely the most efficient method in terms of time and general energy. I didn’t have to deal with sticky wax or meticulously find each and every single hair on my fingers.
I personally found waxing to be the most inconvenient home method. As I am typing, I have already wiped wax residue from my keyboard twice. Waxing might be more worth it when applied to a more expansive area. Or better yet, when applied by a professional.
In the end, though, I found tweezing to be the real winner. Sure, tweezing takes a little more time and patience, but it’s very effective in getting rid of every single hair. Not to mention, for an area as small as your fingers, it shouldn’t take that much time. Even for a hairy monster like me.
Or, since finger hair is hardly noticeable at all, you can just go on with your life, perfectly happy like this hairy person (me!) trying on a $250,000 ring (no big deal) from Neil Lane (call me).
Don’t worry, sweetie, I will genuinely love any ring you put on my now hairless and super-photogenic ring finger.