CUTE COUPLE ALERT! Sick Vintage Bikini + Lush Silk Stockings

The glow radiating off of my legs should melt any attempt at pants right off.
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Annie
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The glow radiating off of my legs should melt any attempt at pants right off.

I'm rushing to pack for Austin because I woke up to this text:

Clearly we're running late. My bad if UFO Club's show or whatever is delayed. I was writing this and packing and also explaining my absense from NYC to my bosses that didn't really know I was leaving. SORRY COCO! <3

Clearly we're running late. My bad if UFO Club's show or whatever is delayed. I was writing this and packing and also explaining my absense from NYC to my bosses that didn't really know I was leaving. SORRY COCO! <3

OK, so what the what? What caveman band dude gets up before noon? NOT THAT ONE, THAT'S FOR DAMN SURE. And also, prescidentally, WHAT SHOULD I BRING?

Does it make me really sound like a trust-fund bitchbrat to say that I used to have a vintage shop and my entire back closet is full of insanely adorable leftover vintage outfits? Well, it shouldn't. Because I worked my ass off for that shop and funded it myself, which in turn funded my apartment I was living in at the time and also beer and makeup.

I have a "back closet" because we (my parents, LOL, I was 12--I'm home in Dallas, by the way, for those that don't keep up with every detail of my mostly mundane existence) bought this house from a family that had twins that shared what would become my room, so basically it's a huge princess den and I have two of everything important: sinks, closets, vanities, bathing areas, 1 am escape routes. No complaints there.

So yeah, I just went back-closet-shopping and rediscovered this cute little '60s crochet bikini set with a matching and completely see-through mini-tunic that's perfect for those with good, exfoliated undercheek. I mean, what better time to go pantless than Psych Fest, you know?

Suck it, Megan Draper. 

Suck it, Megan Draper. 

I haven't shown this much leg since... well, you might have seen day five of the Robotic Takeover. That was like a week and a half ago. Welp, enough with the mind-numbingly basic lead-ins; I'm glad the world prevents me from doing those even if I tried.

I'll conclude with saying that Lush's Silk Stockings body tint heart-shaped block stuff is the illest. I'm definitely one for oiling and body-glittering up before dressing like a slut. It's important to **DING!** gleam when the light hits your shins and shoulder bones. Why do they wax dealership cars and produce? It's an evolutionary thing, humans and primates and barracudas alike go HELLA BONKERS over shiny things. I have quite a few tips and products in my arsenal that I'll slowly reveal as the weather allows.

But I'd never used one quite like Silk Stockings. It leaves you with a pinky-gold glow, and no greasy residue. It's specifically for pale chicks! I'm totally pale right now, so I'm down with that.

Hopefully you'll understand that the effect is not best captured on camera in full daylight, but consider it officially recommended.