I think I spent most of 2013 in my bathtub. I love it there. It’s my own little corner where I can submerge myself in bubbly silence for hours on end, resting my chin atop the water’s steamy crest.
Or I can marathon Gossip Girl, drink a bottle of wine and sext my dude. In the bath, no one can hear your shame.
The problem is, I like my baths like I like my men: super-hot and all over me.
That works out fine with men. As for baths, they can dry out my skin, especially in wintertime. Weird, dry skin does not exactly woo the menfolk, and what am I even on this earth for if not to be flypaper for cute dudes everywhere?
Lucky for you, I’ve got a year of research under my belt, and I’m ready to proselytize y’all to Team Bathtime. Not only am I not gonna dry your skin out, I’m gonna moisturize it like you’ve never been moisturized before. You ready, babe?
First, you need a bathtub. Preferably, you have a big, gorgeous cast-iron claw-footed tub. Or, be like me and have a small, dingy tub that leaks water into the kitchen if it gets too full or if I splash at all. Since I can’t fill the tub all the way with water, I compensate with bubbles and ego.
Here’s what else you need.
· Some sort of foaming bath product. I really like Village Naturals Therapy Foaming Bath Oil for Aches & Pains as well as Dr. Teal’s Foaming Bath Relax & Relief with Eucalyptus Spearmint. My muscles, specifically my neck and back, get sore and tense very easily and these help soothe me into the state of sedation I prefer.
· Oil, oil, oil! Neutrogena Body Oil has been my constant for a couple years. I think it was a Cat rec back in the day, and I’ve re-bought it every seven or eight weeks since.
· Some sort of essential oil, if you want to add more yummy-smelling-ness to your life.
· Somersets Women’s Extra Sensitive Shaving Oil, if you’re into shaving.
· Lush Green bubble bar.
I like my baths way hot, as I said. As I run the water, I pour in the foaming bath stuff as well as the body oil. I get very generous with both. As my dad would say when he’s trying to sing that Miley Cyrus song he doesn’t actually know the words to, “It’s my life, I do what I want. It’s MY life, I sing a little song.”
Then, I get in the bath while it’s still running and I hold the Green bubble bar under the water. It explodes and is so fun! It’s got orange and lime juice in it, and smells amazing as it turns the bath water a pretty green color. The best part is it has extra virgin coconut oil in it, which helps moisturize your skin like cray.
That shaving oil is killer, too. You rub it on your legs or whatever and then let it soak in for a minute or two and then shave. It gives you such a close, smooth shave, and my legs never feel dry and scratchy afterwards. Also, my boyfriend told me that people in Somerset talk like pirates, so I choose to believe this is how pirate ladies would shave their legs. (Peg legs?)
Sometimes I rub some more oil on my neck and rub it where it’s sore. I use a soft brush, like the Bamboo Bristle Bath Brush from EcoTools, to scrub my arms, legs, back and such. It exfoliates without scratching too much.
It’s such a soothing bath experience. I wish we could all take one together. But for now, I bathe alone…
After bathing, sometimes I rub some more oil into my skin before drying off at all. Then I luxuriate around my house in a silk kimono for several hours while all the oils sink into my skin. This is an EVENT.
Taking a bath is what I do when I feel overwhelmed, sad or cold. These days, thanks to these baller products, it’s what I do when my skin feels dry. Big ups to baths!
Tell me about your bathtimes! Tubby time is the best.