The Caffeinated, Cruelty-Free Eye Cream That Makes It Easier To Pretend I Slept Well

I don't drink coffee, but putting it on my face is another story.
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I don't drink coffee, but putting it on my face is another story.

My idea of beauty is simple: be healthy, and beauty is pretty much taken care of.  That starts with lots of water, a good diet, exercise, laughing a bunch, avoiding things that I know mess up my face, and getting a solid eight every night. Hours of sleep, you guys. Heavens!

Some of the things I avoid for the sake of my skin are coffee and booze. I can’t explain it, but whenever I drink coffee or alcohol, my skin freaks out. I get tiny, bumpy patches all over my forehead and chin instantaneously. No coffee, no booze, and I have no issues. I love coffee, and I still drink it on occasion, but I switched to Earl Grey indefinitely.

So when 100% Pure sent me their Coffee Bean Caffeine Eye Cream, I was curious if it would freak my skin out the way its beverage counterpart does.

For your health!

To your health!

Caffeine is popular in cosmetics because it’s readily absorbed by the skin and causes temporary vasoconstriction in areas. This is supposed to firm the skin around the eye, reducing puffiness and constricting the blood vessels that show through as under-eye shadows. Steve Buscemi is a great actor, but he is why this product exists.

The eye cream is 100% vegan, and the main ingredients are aloe juice, rosewater, rose hip oil and green coffee extract. As someone who had eye pouches the moment I turned 26, I am pretty excited to see if it actually works, but since I’ve been taken by the Snake Oil before, I’m pretty skeptical.

Last night, I only got five hours of sleep; partially because Law & Order is infinite and I have no self-control, and also because every night there’s a flipping cat parade on my face. I know I don’t pet you enough, but 3am is NOT THE TIME, NIPSEY.

Cat Jerks

Cat jerks.

Well, the proof is in the pudding. I mean eye cream.

I need a courtesy cream to the eye pouch department


First of all, it smells like ice cream, and has a creamy texture that absorbs fast and isn’t so greasy that I have to blot it before putting on makeup. I smoothed some around my eyes using my ring finger, waited about 20 minutes, and snapped another photo.



I felt like I could FEEL my upper-eye puffiness deflate. It usually takes a few hours, at least, to beat the wretchedness of eye puffiness in the morning, and I feel like it somehow plumped or just tightened up the area under my eyes as well. I didn’t feel like I was holding the weight of my eyebrows on my lids anymore, so I think it worked!

I think I’m hooked--especially for nights when I wish I’d slept more but want to look like I’m extra-sharp. Can you tell a difference? Am I just imagining it?