Rihanna, Hillary Clinton and Karlie Kloss Walk Into a Bar...

Did I say "walk into a bar"? I meant "top this week's beauty news."
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Did I say "walk into a bar"? I meant "top this week's beauty news."

There are two reasons you may want to buy a celebrity perfume: you love how it smells, regardless of the name associated with it, or you love the name associated with it, regardless of how it smells. The three times in my life that I've worn a celebrity perfume, I never loved the scent and star equally.

First was Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth, which I wore to my very first concert, Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth tour in 1989 (I was 10), along with a black bowler hat not unlike the one Debbie Gibson wears on the cover of the Electric Youth album. Needless to say, it could have smelled like electric poop and I would've worn it. 

The other two celebrity fragrances I've worn were based on scent alone. I bought Jennifer Lopez's Still when I was on a cruise at age 24 because I just loved how it smelled—OK, the ring that came around the neck of the bottle was a bit of a selling point—and then I received Kim Kardashian's original EDP when I was 30 and let the tuberose and gardenia notes outweigh my apathy towards her.

I'm Rihanna-neutral, too, but that doesn't mean I won't give this week's first news item a chance...

Rihanna is launching a fragrance called RiRi at some point the near-ish future.

Rihanna announced her impending fragrance, bearing her nickname, on Instagram with the first photo from the campaign. Her beautiful face is framed with voluminous auburn hair, her tattoos covered with pink, pearl-trimmed gloves that look like something Miss Piggy would wear (speaking of which: OMG, y'all, have you seen that "Bitch Better Have My Money" Miss Piggy video?).

No other details have been released—not the notes, the launch date, the price, anything. I'm guessing it's already on many a holiday wish list, though.

UPDATE: We now know the notes! Top: sparkling cassis and Italian mandarin. Middle: Japanese honeysuckle, orange blossom, jasmine. Base: Madagascar vanilla, warm skin musk, and Indonesian sandalwood. (Thanks, Hannah!)

Karlie Kloss's beauty secrets are neither groundbreaking nor particularly useful.

Supermodel Karlie Kloss wrote what Marie Claire is calling an essay but is actually three stream-of-consciousness paragraphs about beauty—a wonky combination of observations ("I've been told that a long neck is a sign of beauty in South Africa") and heard-that-a-million-times-before advice ("Eating healthy and getting a good night's sleep are also important"). She chalks up her own beauty to exercising a lot, drinking lots of juice and water ("I feel like it helps flush out any toxins from my body"—well, yeah, girl, that's what kidneys do), and doing charitable work.

Karlie wearing her thinking cap.

Karlie wearing her thinking cap.

Conspicuously missing from the beauty advice: being born with her genetic composition.

Dried flower temporary tattoos are a thing!

So you think those paper-transferred temporary tattoos are kinda cheesy, and you're not quite ready for a real tattoo, but you really want to wear some kind of body art as long as it's not trite. Well, Bustle came up with something kind of awesome: using dried flowers as temporary tattoos!

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Their video gives you a step-by-step tutorial—you basically decoupage your arm with petals and eyelash glue—along with some real talk: "This sh*t is, like, not easy to get off."

Here's a BuzzFeed video of men shaving their legs for the first time and telling you that you don't have to shave your legs if you don't want to because you needed their thoughts on it before you could make that decision for yourself.

"If I was a girl and I had to do this every day, I'd probably just wear pants and not do it," says one guy, who I'm guessing will still prefer to date women who shave their legs.

One guy assures female viewers that if someone's not into you because you have hairy legs, he's not worth it, which is nice of him to realize. "Just think of all the other things you could do with your life," he also says, referring to the time women spend shaving. "You could go to the gym, you could cure cancer, you could get a new pet..." Oh, great, now I should feel guilty about what I could be doing with the time I spend shaving? Oy.

But the time many women put into their appearance actually brings us to today's final news item...

Hillary Clinton knows the hair and makeup time "tax" struggle is real.

During a Facebook Q&A with Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, a woman named Libby Brittain (hey, we have a mutual Facebook friend—what's up!) left the following comment:

Every morning, as my boyfriend zips out the door and I spend 30+ minutes getting ready, I wonder about how the "hair and makeup tax" affects other women — especially ones I admire in high-pressure, public-facing jobs. I know these questions can seem fluffy, but as a young professional woman, I'd genuinely love to hear about how you manage getting ready each morning (especially during your time traveling as Secretary of State and now on the campaign trail) while staying focused on the "real" work ahead of you that day.

Clinton replied: "Amen, sister - you're preaching to the choir. It's a daily challenge. I do the best I can - and as you may have noticed, some days are better than others! -H"

I like Hillary and may very well vote for her, but her response bummed me out. "As you may have noticed, some days are better than others"? As in, some days she looks better than other days? That doesn't address Brittain's thought-provoking question about the gender disparity with aesthetic expectations, and, even more so, it enforces the idea that her appearance is part of her value as a presidential candidate—a concept that she herself has taken issue with in the past. Hillary Clinton is extraordinarily competent and qualified for the job she wants, and that doesn't change if she doesn't shave her legs one day. 

  • Do you ever feel like you have to justify the time you put into beauty routines? Do you resent how much time it takes? 
  • Do you ever take celebrity beauty advice? 
  • Are you gonna go glue flowers to your arm right now?