This week, I found out I'm psychic. I suppose if I were really psychic, I would've predicted finding out that I'm psychic, but whatever.
Seriously, though, last week I wrote about two things that basically predicted a couple of this week's news items, so I'm feeling pretty clairvoyant right now. I should totally open up a side business out of my apartment.
A woman recently got some ribs removed to look more like a cartoon
I just mentioned last Friday how unattainable cartoon body dimensions are, but the internet proved me wrong in the last few days when it started buzzing about a former electrician and current Instagram model Pixee Fox.
Fox recently had six ribs removed so she would be able to whittle her waist down to 16 inches while wearing a corset, which stays on pretty much all the time. Although most board-certified plastic surgeons in the US are reluctant to do this kind of procedure, she found a willing and well-qualified doctor in Indiana plastic surgeon Dr. Barry Eppley.
The rib removal is the latest in an expensive series of surgeries that Fox, whose Instagram account went private since I started writing this, hopes makes her look more like Tinkerbell and Jessica Rabbit. These procedures include multiple breast and lip augmentations, several nose jobs, liposuction and labiaplasty, which makes me wonder how she knows what Disney genitals look like.
Personally, as someone who's a stringent advocate for body autonomy, I have no problem with Fox's pursuit of her beauty ideals. It may be an unusual path with many risks, but she seems to be taking it on as safely and responsibly as possible, without suggesting other people should do the same thing.
"I don't want to inspire people to get plastic surgery," she told BarcroftTV. "What I want to do is get a message out there that it's important, whatever you decide to do, that you should follow your dreams and dare to be yourself."
The first line of defense against hair-tie-caused wrist infections is about to launch
Just last week, I reported on a woman who had gotten a horrible skin infection that had been caused by a hair elastic she was, like so many of us, almost constantly wearing around her wrist.
This could have been prevented if only Hairbanglez had launched sooner!
These super-cute bracelets—made of lucite, colorful rubber, or metal—feature a concave section in which your hair tie is held, becoming a subtle part of the bracelet and never digging into your skin. GENIUS.
The site is up and running, but it officially launches December 10.
If you want to tattoo yourself, you may no longer be limited to the stick-and-poke method
One of the first things I asked my go-to tattoo artist is if she's ever tattooed herself. I imagine most tattoo artists have, especially early on in their career.
I, however, can't imagine I'd ever want to tattoo myself. The idea scares the bejesus out of me, and so does this invention that I'm 99% sure is real:
"Personal Tattoo Machine materializes your thoughts directly onto your skin without the need of a professional tattooist. The aim is to enhance tattoos that are not about aesthetics instead their main function is to reflect meaningful memories," the website reads. And I assure you, even though I can draw OK, there would be nothing aesthetically pleasing about any tattoo I did on myself because I'd be trembling the whole time out of nervousness and pain.
"Personal Tattoo Machine aims to democratise the tattoo industry," the site states. "It gives a tool used only by a limited group of people into the hands of enthusiasts who are seeking for an alternative and unique way to permanently mark their meaningful memories onto their skin."
Democratize the tattoo industry? Used only by a limited group of people? You know, because tattoo artists are tyrants and how dare they train for a career and charge for their skills and time.
The set, which reportedly comes with "all the parts necessary" to set up, sterilize and create your tattoo, is not yet available.
Hate talking during your haircut? Move to the UK!
Bauhaus, an Aveda hair salon in Wales, has made an often annoying and awkward situation totally stress-free. Instead of letting customers feel obligated to chat with a talkative hairstylist or uncomfortably making their preference to not talk known, owner Scott Miller offers his clients the option to book a "no talk" chair.
"A trip to the hair salon is supposed to be relaxing, and while for some people that means catching up on what’s been going on in their lives, not everybody is comfortable with small talk," Miller told Wales Online. "We wanted to take the embarrassment away, and for customers to know we won’t be offended if they don’t want to do the small talk often associated with visiting the hair salon."
Um, can I please book a "big hug" chair for Mr. Miller, because that's an awesome idea.
- Do you like chatting at the salon?
- Would you ever tattoo yourself?
- How do you feel about "extreme" plastic surgery?