Say Goodbye to Your Favorite Revlon Mascara and Hello to Faux Septum Piercings and Curly-Hair Emoji

This week's beauty news is an emotional roller coaster.
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This week's beauty news is an emotional roller coaster.

Kylie Jenner is a relatively recent high-school graduate and beauty trendsetter. These are two things I know to be true. I don't pay much attention to her, so if there are other descriptors that define the nook she's carving out for herself in this world, I'm personally not aware of them. 

She's in a position that's unique to say the least. Most famous 18-year-olds who inspire young women to copy their looks are coming to the table with more than just privilege and inherited visibility. The wretched old coot in me worries that this makes teenage girls think it's possible that people will want to give them lots of money just for being pretty, but I suppose there are more dangerous pies in the sky.

If I were the not-so-liberal parent of a teenage girl, I might be concerned about some of the more instantly achievable Kylie-influenced beauty choices available to the kiddies, like the one in this first news item...

Kylie Jenner has a septum ring now. Sort of.

The youngest Jenner is ELLE Canada's latest cover model, and the accompanying spread features a shot of her wearing a jingly-jangly septum ring. Although I'm on the fence about whether or not this kind of jewelry is inappropriately appropriative (say that three times fast), from a purely aesthetic standpoint, it looks pretty badass with the her brown-tone makeup.

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But before you go running out to a mall kiosk to get your septum pierced (I'm pretty much talking to my 14-year-old niece, Elyssa), you should know that Kylie's septum is not actually pierced. It's apparently a clip-on (squeeze-on?), and it doesn't appear in other photos in from the shoot. 

Whether or not you think septum rings that don't penetrate the columella are any less cool than ones that do is your call. I personally know how disappointed I was when I heard that Joan Osbourne's nose ring was a clip-on, but I also understand the desire to have flexibility in one's look and to avoid having pus spew from a central point on my face.

What if god was one of us? Just a DECEPTIVE FAKE NOSE RING WEARER like one of us?

What if god was one of us? Just a DECEPTIVE FAKE NOSE RING WEARER like one of us?

I also know that, if Kylie's impact on beauty trends is as strong as it seems to be, there's gonna be a run on both faux and real septum rings

Revlon is discontinuing all their mascara. Sort of.

If you have a favorite Revlon mascara, take a moment to say your goodbyes. Let it know how much you've loved it. And then maybe go stock up on what's left at CVS while you still can.

According to Refinery29, Revlon is phasing out all of their current mascaras and replacing them with five straight-to-the-point mascaras with clear purposes—volume, length, volume and length, no clumps, and an all-in-one—and uniform packaging. Each has a black tube with a solid-colored cap.

Meet your new step-mascara.

Meet your new step-mascara.

Ultimate All-In-One is the one hitting stores first, and I'm kind of confused as to why any others need to come out, because I want my mascara to lengthen and volumize without clumps. Why would I buy a mascara that does just one of those things, which the next few coming out apparently do? Buy hey, that's just me.

There are now curly-hair emoji! Sort of.

If you've ever been reluctant to send one of the lady-emoji because her hair didn't accurately capture your waves or curls, you may be oversensitive. But you're also in luck! Dove just launched emoji (yes, the plural of emoji is emoji—don't let anyone tell you otherwise) to coincide with their Love Your Curls campaign.

I downloaded it and texted one of my favorite curly girls, Rachel, to let her know the joyous news.

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There are multiple hair colors and lengths, as well as a few skin colors, since "Dove Hair is committed to redefining traditional standards of beauty and ensuring women and girls see accurate reflections of themselves in the world around them," according to the Unilever's VP.

The only reason I'm referring to them as sort of emoji—aside from the whole comedy rule-of-three thing—is because, like Bitmoji, they don't function exactly like authentic emoji. After downloading the app and adding its keyboard, you have to paste them into texts as opposed to them just being natively typed. (That also means you can't use them on Instagram, sadly.)

100 Years of Beauty is back with American men's grooming styles, and it might be the sexiest video on the internet this week

It's been a while since we've featured a Cut clip in the weekly beauty news—don't worry, they're still doing 100 years of international beauty looks—but to help kick off Movember, they recreated popular American men's looks on the fully grown secret love child of Joe Jonas and Matthew McConaughey.

I love that this model fully committed to dramatically changing his hair—both head and facial—and I'm still trying to figure out exactly which order the decades were filmed in. (I definitely don't mind watching it several more times to solve the mystery.)

  • Would you ever wear a fake nose/septum ring? 
  • What's your favorite Revlon mascara? 
  • What physical feature would you like to see added to emoji? 
  • What's your favorite dude look of the last century?