Marilyn Monroe Definitely Didn't Have This NSFW Lipstick in Her Beauty Drawer

Also in this weekend's beauty news: the everyday transformative power of makeup, and a quiz that will make you question your beauty chops.
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Also in this weekend's beauty news: the everyday transformative power of makeup, and a quiz that will make you question your beauty chops.

Isn't the weekend so wonderful? You have two whole days to do whatever you want, unless you're swamped with wedding-season invites and have to spend your Saturdays getting ready and your Sundays hungover. Hey, that was me two years ago, and I survived. I only have one wedding this year, and it's in September, so I escaped summer wedding season. Although that does mean I don't have a perfect excuse to buy a new dress or lipstick — not that I won't buy them anyway.

Since I'm currently at the cabin with most of my paternal family, I'm gonna keep this weekend's beauty news short and sweet. Let's dive right in, shall we? (We actually can't swim in the lake yet because it's still too cold and full of duck poop.)

This video shows just how important makeup can be in a person's life

Most of us have something we're born with that we'd like to cover up, tweak or remove, like a strawberry mark or a large mole. Joanne Tronconi was born with what they call a "port wine stain" all over her face, a birthmark that happens when there's a quirk in your blood vessels. What Joanne didn't know is that she also had a rare disorder that would cause her birthmark to swell, which it did once she turned 40.

One of Joanne's children just so happens to be a ​beauty vlogger, so she took to YouTube to tell her story and to show how she uses makeup to cover up the birthmark. It's truly remarkable how makeup helps her transform her birthmark, and it gives her so much more confidence. In the video, Joanne says that people often come up and ask her about it, or simply stop and stare. With a little help from her favorite makeup products, she can cover up what she doesn't love and go out in the world with more confidence. 

Joanne's video has been viewed over two million times, and the majority of the comments are super-positive, which is a miracle on YouTube.

Peek in Marilyn's makeup drawer

I'm so obsessed with Marilyn Monroe (like, spent $50 on the Christie's auction book last year) that I posted ​this image of the contents of her beauty drawer to my own Instagram as soon as I saw it on Allure. I love the tiny little false eyelashes!

Marilyn herself didn't have a ton of makeup because she depended on her trusty makeup artist, Allan "Whitey" Snyder, who created the iconic "Marilyn look" with the star and fulfilled a longtime promise to MM when he did her makeup for her funeral. 

These few items were sold at an auction in 2005, probably to another obsessed Marilyn fan who has a way bigger checkbook than me. Marilyn kept her lashes (with their box!), a lash curler, some bobby pins, and a lilac eyeshadow — and that's about it. In her daily life, MM was pretty low maintenance, makeup-wise, so the contents of her cosmetics drawer didn't really surprise me. 

Did you know you can still buy her ​chosen brand of earplugs? I might have to try those out, considering they're endorsed by my ultimate icon.


For retro beauty experts only

I'm ashamed to admit that I did poorly on ​this Refinery29 quiz about Cult Classic '90s Beauty Products. I was a kid in the '90s! I should have known all these! But this is not your basic "Which Clinique lipstick shade was trendy in the '90s?" quiz — it requires way, way more brain power and recollection! 

Close your eyes and think of your elementary/middle-school makeup bag and what was in it... think hard... visualize that sparkly body lotion and fruity-flavored lip balm. 

Shock your family when you pull out this NSFW lipstick

I'm sorry. I have to include this. These phallic lipsticks are just a necessity in any beauty news roundup. 

When I showed Rachel, she was like, "EWWW NO." Sorry, Rachie. 

If you wanna learn more about them and get up close and personal with that detailing, visit Buzzfeed's ​story. Don't you think their application style would leave a little to be desired?

  • If you had to narrow down your makeup to just a few pieces, what would you choose? 
  • How'd you do on that quiz? 
  • What do you think about those lipdicks? (Sorry.)