My dear friend and sporadic xoVain contributor Colleen did something very rude recently: She adopted a puppy. After moving 3,000 miles across the country. Not only that, but she didn't choose any of my name recommendations, which included gems like Hatchetface, Calyx, and Prosperine, Princess of Hell.
Just a few weeks into Luna living with her Colleen has discovered that putting on makeup — as opposed to giving Luna her undivided attention — has become a "little whiny poopoo baby problem for her."
I realized that this has never been much of an issue for me — that is, my beauty routine being an issue for my pets. Rufus truly couldn't care less. I'll sit at my vanity, and he'll lie on the bed behind me — content to be close by without demanding attention. The only thing that gets a reaction is nail polish; he hates the smell and goes into another room.
My dear departed Max would occasionally sit in my lap while I did my makeup, but neither dog ever took my primping as a personal affront the way Luna apparently does.
So I asked my xoVainers (and asked Colleen to elaborate)...
How do your pets feel about your beauty routine?
Colleen: "Luna hates makeup and is protesting my use of it. She cries, scratches my legs, whimpers, jumps around like a squirrel, and then eventually gets picked up and put on my lap where she starts licking off my fresh foundation (that can't be good). She HATES makeup time. I give her distracting chewy bones and still she will come over to tell me all about the pawtriarchy oppressing me. BADABING!"
Caitlin: "My beagle, Lucky, loves licking sunscreen off of my legs. Other than that, he's an apathetic bathmat blob."
Rachel: "I can't close the bathroom door while I put makeup on because my cat cries outside the door the whole time. She's also terrified of blowdryers and will hide while I blowdry my hair, but the other day she came in the bathroom while I was putting makeup on and hissed at the blowdryer on the floor, which I thought was very brave of her. But then I turned the blowdryer on and she ran off, because I need to teach her at a young age that the world is terrifying and cruel and doesn't give a shit how brave you are, OK tiny cat?"
Allison: "I have a vanity with a flip-up top that covers the makeup inside. Whenever I'm sitting and doing my makeup (or trying to) my cat jumps inside and sits on top of my makeup. It's seriously amazing I've never gotten cat hair in my mascara."
Tamara: "My cat either stands on top of one dresser and meows nonstop or he jumps on my actual makeup table and knocks my brushes off whilst making eye contact. Sometimes he bites the back of my hair too."
Samantha: "If my dog isn't asleep, which he usually is, he cries a lot and stares at me with his sad little face. Everything for him centers around walks, so if he thinks I'm getting ready to take him out on one, he's the most impatient creature ever. He's like 80 pounds, and he'll just stand beside me huffing and puffing. Fun fact though: he LOVES to stare at himself in the mirror."
Christina: "My dogs don't care at all, and my cats... also don't care (aside from being offended by the hairdryer, that is)."
Maura: "Lil Sebastian doesn't care about beauty at all, but he LOVES the pink wrappers from my Makeup Geek package."
Wendy: "Even if I so much as pick up my blow dryer, both of my cats start scurrying in the other direction. They are 100% terrified of it, but to be fair, they are also afraid of my Swiffer and my Dust Buster. When putting on makeup, I do this thing where I rotate between three mirrors whilst applying (so I can see myself in varying light) and I usually end up tripping over them because they follow me around. If I'm spending a lot of time in the bathroom, though, Goguma (my orange kitty) will sit in the bathtub and look at my longingly while meowing. I think she likes the acoustics."
Morgan: "My cat grooms my makeup brushes. I think he thinks they are baby cats that need looking after."
Kelly: "Doug gets personally affronted if I'm ignoring him to do my makeup, and if I take too long, he literally headbutts me for attention. He also likes to circle me and step on my feet while I'm standing in front of the mirror doing my makeup. Sometimes I wonder if he knows that makeup = me leaving the house and that's why he gets super needy. Also why do pets always NEED you to pet them RIGHT after you've just painted your nails?"
Maricar: "I don't have a pet, but my boyfriend has a dog. When I'm doing my makeup, he gets very curious and will try to sniff all the products before getting bored and walking away."
Your turn! How do your pets feel about your beauty routine? And if you don't have one, what beauty product would you name your pet after if you did have one? Tynan wants to get a dog and name it Lincoln Park After Dark.