ATTENTION FURRIES: Here's A Nail Polish Just For You!

See also: donut sprinkles.
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Annie
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See also: donut sprinkles.

I made an impromptu drugstore run while in Miami with the intention of writing a "$20 Spent" post. What I ended up with was a lighter, lip gloss, sunscreen, a South Beach magnet, and the nail polish I'm about to tell you all about. And 24 of photos of all the famous people I came across while shopping. It was creepy! Everywhere I turned I had a cardboard cutout of Halle Berry or Andie MacDowell or Kate Moss making "eff-me-gently" eyes at me.

The Walgreens there have a huge selection of beach wear as well. Weird!

The Walgreens there have a huge selection of beach wear as well. Weird!

If I were in a more solid state of mind, I don't know if I would have purchased the Fuzzy Coat polish. But, I mean, I had never seen anything like it. No, I had seen stuff like it--glitter is like it. I think the technical term is "bar" glitter, and this stuff is basically that but without the glitz. No sparkles.

But I had never seen anything marketed like this before. Fuzzy? Um, OK! I'll put that stuff on me.

Then it got me thinking about that confused eight-year-old sitting in her family living room watching an MTV documentary about furries, finger on the channel button in case my mom walked in because I was pretty sure it was something I shouldn't be watching. Do you guys remember seeing that? Furries are, according to Nat Geo, people who dress as animals because they believe they are, in fact, part animal. And then they bone each other, right? (Apparently MTV is casting for a furry-centric True Life episode, if any of y'all are reading this.)

No judgy! That's totally cool. Mainstream-acceptable, apparently, because Sally Hansen is all up on it. Like, a subtly sexy nail lacquer for the furries set. Although, it's more of a look than a texture thing.

Yes, still covering up my mustache scabs. 

Yes, still covering up my mustache scabs. 

The color combos kind of threw me. I wish they offered up a shade that had all of the bar colors rather than just two. What does one pair with light blue and white anyway?

Meh. 

Meh. 

Ugh, I'm trying. But really the only proper use for this stuff is in pastry manicures.

Behold.

Behold.

Who's tried this, or the weird sugar-textured one? Who's a furry?