The 3 Reasons I Purposely Keep My Nails Super-Short

Some pianists cut their nails short to be more agile when they play. My reasons aren't quite as elegant.
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Some pianists cut their nails short to be more agile when they play. My reasons aren't quite as elegant.

Lately, when I look down at my nails, I shake my head and think, “Glennis would so disapprove.” Her nails are so long and fancy! Mine? Not so much.

I tried to connect with her when I was in LA, but she kinda freaked me out within five minutes of us texting each other:

"Glennis" has an interesting sense of humor.

"Glennis" has an interesting sense of humor.

Only after I tweeted that to Glennis and Marci did I realize I had the wrong number.

On most days my nails are super, super short--cut almost right down to the quick. They're so short that if you tried to give me a French manicure... well, you couldn't.

It’s not that I don’t like my nails--I do. I have pretty strong ones, too, and I’d like to have more canvas for my manicurist to do fancyass things on. However, I have good reason for keeping my nails short:

#1 AVOIDING A BLOODBATH

I have eczema. While I can control my scratching when I’m awake, it’s a whole different ballgame when I’m asleep. To avoid having to sleep in mittens like a newborn and waking up in a pool of blood from scratched-out skin in the morning, I keep my nails super short.

#2 I EAT WITH MY FINGERS EVERY CHANCE I GET

I’m Indian, I can’t help it. It’s also a lot of fun. Rice? Easy peasy. Noodles? Even better. Because I don’t want food particles under my nails, I keep them short. (I shudder at the thought of what’s under other people’s long nails. Ew.)

About to rip this mother apart with my fingers.

About to rip this mother apart with my fingers.

#3 THERE'S LESS AREA FOR ME TO SCREW UP

Despite the fact that I used to be an art student and held a paintbrush as often as I held a pen in school, I suck royally at painting my nails. I can’t paint “within the lines" or smoothly, and I often have random empty spaces in the middle. When you have short nails, you have less space to screw up on. It works for my self-confidence, really.

Am I the only one who keeps her nails this short on purpose? How long are yours?