Our Bathroom Is Like An Episode Of Hoarders, Except All Beauty Products And No Dead Cats

Think your stash of beauty products is out of control? Try living with an equally-beauty-obsessed twin sister.
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Pia and Runa
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Think your stash of beauty products is out of control? Try living with an equally-beauty-obsessed twin sister.

Anyone who knows us knows that we’re obsessed with beauty stuff; if we own too much of anything, that’s it. Ever since we tried our first Bonne Bell Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker as children, we’ve been terrorizing our home with mascaras, eyeshadows, blushes -- you name it.

And to this day, we will wrestle each other for our favorite lipstick (which, by the way is MAC Candy Yum-Yum).

Two decades or so later, the permanent explosion of makeup in our rooms is pretty shocking. Careers in the beauty industry mean a tons of products to test. For us, that’s like a crack giveaway at the clinic. Despite the occasional half-assed effort to consolidate, most of our bureau drawers are filled to the point of not quite closing. Bags of products rest on shelves while shoes and clothing are shoved to the side. The products are our decor.

Not even a half.

Not even a half.

Here's the thing, though: We LIKE it that way.

This confession is not a cry for help. Some experts may encourage us to organize the products, spouting some mumbo-jumbo on it being a step towards organizing our entire lives -- blah blah blah. But we refuse to clean up our act/rooms. With the exception of weeding out expired products and giving a few goodies (read: products that don’t work for our skin/hair type/color) to friends, you won’t find us labeling, compartmentalizing or throwing away anything.

Our makeup stash is on the verge of kicking us out of our rooms, and we are cool with it.

Sound familiar? If you’re not as comfortable with product chaos as we are, the key to surviving in a beauty products landfill is actually quite simple.

Be your own beauty expert and pick your must-haves.

Say you could only carry a few beauty products -- what would you throw in your purse? If someone asked you the quickly rattle off the contents of your makeup bag, what would you say? We’ve come up with what our Beauty Venn Diagram (see below) -- products specific to our own beauty looks and products we share -- and you can do one to fit your situation and need for organization.

Come to think of it, this may not really be a Venn diagram so much as a colorful presentation of some scrapbooking accessories we found under a bed, with beauty products on top.

Come to think of it, this may not really be a Venn diagram so much as a colorful presentation of some scrapbooking accessories we found under a bed, with beauty products on top.

Make sure you cover all your bases; break it down by skin, eyes, lips and hair.

Then, pick a set of products based on your everyday look. Finally, throw in a few that work without fail when you need to be more glamorous. Keep these as a central point you can come back to when you feel like you’ve strayed too far into excess or you’re in too deep with all the new products out there. It’ll help to preserve your sanity.

Someday, when we are nearly identical eighty-somethings, instead of carrying expired hard candies, we'll carry pretty little lip balms. We’ll be happily opening vintage bottles of perfume in mint condition. We’ll guilt our granddaughters into letting us apply the beauty looks of our youth on their lineless faces when they're not busy fighting the aliens on their hoverboards.

And yes, we will still wrestle over MAC Candy Yum-Yum.