Just kidding, I have no problem wearing it during the daytime either. Some people accuse Jane Pratt of only hiring people who happen to be pretty (seriously you guys, stop saying that--we hate it); I accuse her of only hiring people who lack even the slightest speck of shame.
I’ve always liked to get experimental with makeup, I just never really did unless I was “going out” at night, and in Austin that meant going to bars hosting events called “Tuesgayz.”
So I’d paint black eyeliner ink onto my lips and smear purple Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Lip Tar on my eyelids while eating my usual pregame helping of sprouted wheat toast and a peanut-buttery apple like NBD. (I like to properly nourish my body before shoving poisons into it for the next four hours.)
Plus, I buy makeup like how the dumbest breed of seventh-grade girl buys school supplies: in rainbow colors and kewt packaging, with complete disregard for actual need or thought of functionality.
Also: Glitter means purchase immediately. Even if I never use any of it, I get to have drawer-fulls of pigmented talc happiness.
So when OCC sent over their most Skittliest of flavors, I almost lost it. If wearing super-bright, distractingly colorful makeup every day didn’t mean waking up half an hour earlier in the mornings to apply it correctly, I’d do it all the time. (I like my lines clean and my blending game correct. You can call it being a perfectionist, I call it how it is: having self-respect.)
I plan to eventually try all of them, but I figured I’d start with an atypical shade that will look good on everyone: blue. Have you ever heard anyone be like, “I really want to order the new AP Spanish T-shirt, but I look awful in blue”? No. Everybody always orders the blue AP Spanish T’s. You may look back in horror at your denim-shirted family photos, but '90s mommas knew best.
OCC’s Lip Tar in RX is a really beautiful true blue that goes on like a creamy, opaque paint. I used the tiny white lip brush that comes gratis with your lip tar purchase to carefully paint the edges of my lips, ‘cause this stuff is so highly pigmented that once it’s on, it’s hard to clean up any small mistakes.
I was instructed to go out and wear it in a real-life situation, which makes sense because I still don’t believe that sitting at my desk in the xoJane offices is a real-life situation. Hasn’t hit me yet.
Emily suggested going to Starbucks, and Corynne totally wet-blanketed the fun by saying that I should go “to the place where people pick up their welfare checks.” She got too real-life with that one. I met them in the middle and decided on 7-11, where I picked up a blue-flavored Slurpee and coordinating shark gummies, which taste horrible, FYI.
I got a bunch of weird looks, but I don’t know whether to attribute them to the blue lips or to Olivia yelling at me in the middle of Fifth Avenue, cig in one hand, camera in the other being like, “STOP LOOKING STUPID AND LET’S SHOOT THIS, I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO TODAY.”
The cashier at 7-11 thought I looked great. She was the only one not holding out on the compliments, which I knew everybody else really wanted to give but were too intimidated by Olivia’s hostile shouting.
Do you wear blue lips IRL? How pretty do you look and how many compliments do you get? Feel free to leave yours in the comment section, or color-coordinate with my lips on Twitter.