I was recently scrolling through my Twitter feed, catching up on my world news (JK, I was catching up on celebrity and fashion news, which can also be worldly) when I happened upon a Vogue article about Kristen Stewart’s beauty secrets.
I obviously clicked on the link, because my life is void of all meaning and I love learning how people who are more rich and famous than I am achieve their look.
According to K-Stew herself, she doesn’t know how to do her own makeup, and each day she uses a black Topshop eyeliner on both her top and bottom lash lines and then smudges it with her finger. She then goes on to admit that, while she does sometimes wash her face, she never ever takes her eyeliner and mascara off, and that it looks great the next day.
Let me start by saying that I am a huge fan of washing my face. I’m big into hygiene, and I love the feeling of a freshly-scrubbed mug. I always remove my eye makeup, too, because I don’t want to get wrinkles (is that a thing?), and a friend once told me that if you don’t remove your mascara properly, there are these bugs that eat your eyelashes (this seems like an adorable anecdote, but it is sort of true and very gross).
That being said, I, too, want to look cool and grunge-y like Kristen. I am really not cool in general. Like, I know being cool involves something to do with a leather jacket casually slung over your shoulder and probably a cigarette behind your ear, but that’s the extent of my knowledge.
So I decided to try the K-Stew beauty routine to see if I could achieve the same smoldering messy look-that-isn’t-a-look. Spoiler alert: I could not.
I used a cheap eyeliner, too:Rimmel Special Eyes pencil. I lined both top and bottom lids, and then smudged with my finger and added mascara.
It was really weird sleeping in eye makeup. Firstly, I had to put a hand towel on my pillowcase because I was scared of getting black makeup all over my white sheets. Secondly, I noticed just how often I rub my eyes at night and had to force myself to stop.
When I woke up, I left my eyes as they were and put on blush and lipstick.
The results were really not that great. I mean, I think it looked way better when it was fresh.
I don’t know how K-Stew does it, but I prefer my eyes clean and freshly applied. If I want a rough smoky eye, I’d rather fake it, because I am a lame poser.
I should probably take up wearing full leather-on-leather to seem cool, right?