I just realized I’ve been dating for 22 years. That’s one year less than Annie’s been living.
My first boyfriend was a fellow sixth-grader named Jason, a handsome young man (boy) who, like me, played the cello mediocrely. We also both had Mr. Allen for Social Studies. SO MUCH IN COMMON!
My parents loved Jason. I think they knew how innocent the relationship was (we didn’t even kiss until we tried the boyfriend/girlfriend thing a second time in eighth grade), so they got a kick out of how he would boldly put his arm around my shoulders in photos.
Looking at that photo recently, I noticed that I was wearing eyeliner and mascara, and I had another realization (I'm a chronic epiphany-haver): I’ve been wearing makeup for as long as I’ve been dating.
By the time I was in high school, I was wearing foundation to school every day, so there was no way I wasn’t going to wear it on dates. My skin had to look as close to perfect as possible. But as I got older and more comfortable with getting closer to the guys I dated, I started worrying that foundation was making me, as Cher Horowitz would put it, a full-on Monet: “From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.”
For years, I feared that foundation looked way too cakey when a guy would get close to my face. And when I say “for years,” I mean up until, like, a month ago.
Listen, no offense, Maybelline, but when this whole BB cream craze started, I rolled my eyes. I figured it was just well-marketed tinted moisturizer, which had never given me enough coverage. When I started trying the slew of BBs that launched throughout 2012, I realized it was more than tinted moisturizer, but I was still meh.
I didn’t actually try Maybelline Dream Fresh BB until I started at xoVain, and before I applied it, I wondered how I could make it sound great in my sponsored post when I was sure I wasn’t going to be very impressed. Then I applied it, and all of my word-scheming anxiety went poof. THIS STUFF IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD.
Immediately, I noticed that it gave me light but ample coverage that, even in the scary magnified side of the mirror, looked natural. My skin just looked better: even, bright, smooth. And it felt phenomenal because it was getting hydration without goopiness or greasiness.
THIS IS THE DATE MAKEUP I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. Hallelujah or something!
As if he knew I had to write this article, a guy named Richard that I’ve hung out with on and off over the last few months got in touch with me after several weeks of being off the radar. He’d read my xoJane article about being single for seven years.
We had tried to go to Peanut Butter & Co. for our second date a while ago, but it was closed for renovations, so he’s been promising to make me an "Elvis" in his own kitchen for quite some time. We agreed it was finally time for that Elvis.
The following Saturday, I got ready to go over to his place while it was still light out, which made me thankful for Dream Fresh BB’s SPF 30. But I was even more thankful for how well it was blurring some of the less awesome parts of my complexion.
When I left my apartment, my skin looked phenomenal in the fading daylight; I checked it in a compact one more time before pressing the buzzer for Richard’s apartment, and it was still looking awesome under the should-be-unflattering light perched above his building’s front door.
Once I was inside, our rapport picked up where it left off. And by “our” I mean me and Richard’s roommate’s cat, Sheep.
There was still a nice big spark with Richard, too. Such a charmer, this guy. His smile almost makes me forget that he's, like, five years younger than me.
We sat down on the couch to catch up and, I swear, the following words came out of his mouth:
“Wow. You look really good. Like, there’s something going on…” and he motioned his hands at my face like he was trying to feel for what that something was.
I smiled and resisted the temptation to say, “Oh, it must be my Maybelline Dream Fresh BB 8-in-1 Beauty Balm Skin Perfector, Richard.”
Instead I said, “Maybe it’s my hair? It’s a little different.”
“Maybe,” he replied.
MAYBE IT’S MAYBELLINE IS MORE LIKE IT, RICHARD.
I followed him to the kitchen, where he started making our peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches; his with bacon, mine with just a little honey. Every few minutes, he’d get really close and affectionate, and each time, I didn’t feel any doubt about what my skin looked like.
I kissed Sheep on the nose a couple times, too, and he seemed to be down with my skin as well. He wasn’t as impressed with our sandwich leftovers, though.
I’m not going to go into too much detail about just how close I let Richard get to my skin, but I will say that I more or less forgot about my makeup--not because it’s forgettable, but because I wasn’t the least bit worried about how my skin looked.
Oh, and Maybelline? A request: Can you make a BB cream for décolletage? You know--for those close-ups. Please and thanks.