One of the most common reactions to hearing that I work at a beauty site is, "Oh wow do you get a ton of free makeup and stuff?" Yes. Yes, I do.
But it's not all it's cracked up to be. Do you know what it's like when every chick in the office is fully aware that you have a drawer full of hair ties six inches from your left knee? I have to smile and roll on over so that they can choose between pink and blue after asking "Are you sure there's no black?" It's like no, GET AWAY FROM ME YOU UNGRATEFUL HARLOT. MAY THE BACK OF YOUR NECK BURN IN HELL.
And it's not just hair ties. It's everything. Moisturizers, deep conditioners, flabby arm tightening lotions. I have this rule: if it's on my desk, don't take it, but everything else is fair game. That works sometimes, until you notice that toothpaste Selfie Of The Day prize you couldn't find was Instagrammed in the bathroom of another Vainer. Awesome.
You better believe that any amazing makeup stuff gets taken home immediately, leaving the beauty closet a derelict pit of products for redheads, seasonal feather hair extensions and perfume samples. It sucks when you come in looking like hell only to hear that Jane Pratt wants to go to lunch at the Breslin.
Thank God for Benefit, who sent over a kit full of some of their most popular baby-sized products. Not one that likes being told how to live my life, I'm partial to buying stand-alone products. But the compact tin makes sense when you're in a bind, and I'll be keeping it in my (locked) desk drawer from here on out.
To the chick that won the stolen toothpaste: I sent you another tastier brand of toothpaste and the other makeup kit that Benefit sent over as a consolation prize. Enjoy.