Beauty Does Not Exist When You Have Post-Concert Flu And I Saw Liv Tyler

Unibrow update inside, along with a giveaway so you can start your own uni.
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Annie
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Unibrow update inside, along with a giveaway so you can start your own uni.

Ironically I look less zombie-like today than I did when I was teaching you all how to be a petulant flake in that one post, but I can't actually function. Why is it that even sleeping needs to be hard when you're sick? What do these germs want me to do?? Clearly it's watch the same three episodes of Shark Tank and flip through Mark Cuban's Instagram for way longer than I'd intended.

Me, sad that Shark Tank is over until Friday. 

Me, sad that Shark Tank is over until Friday. 

I spent all day Saturday doing this amazing beauty thing that's deserving of it's very own article, so I won't elaborate here (Also: brain not work! Shortie post for4ver.), and then hung out with a bad influence and then we went to Burgerama Caravan Of Stars Tour at the Bowery Ballroom. Or is it just "The Bowery"? Which is cooler? (Here's their tour schedule in case you wanna catch it. Good stuff obviously and Burger Records is SO in right now.)

LIV TYLER WAS THERE OMG. I didn't fan-girl over her, although I did fantasize about whipping out my iPhone and being all, "Look I was you kinda." And, "Oh hey look, it's yer mom." Neither of which are creepy or I-want-to-wear-your-face-and-live-your-life in the slightest.

One chick did freak out on her in the bathroom, going on and on about how pretty she is, to which Liv replied, "Awe, thank you. I'm old, but thank you." STOP BEING HUMBLE YOU ARE LITERALLY A MYTHICAL CREATURE.

I just played it cool and continued to apply my handy Touche Eclat, bent provocatively over the sink like I always catch myself doing in public restrooms. (I donno.) And, like, I was the most famous person there anyway. Does anybody READ the Internet anymore??

Repping an original beauty. 

Repping an original beauty. 

Today I'm trying to do lots of Internet stuff from the Boy Apartment, where I actually have good Internet. I stole this sick Aaliyah shirt and can't get Santana's "Maria Maria," but replaced with "Aaliyah Aaliyah" out of my head. It's the Burger germs.

Congrats to Sarah Elper for winning that Bumble and bumble shampoo and conditioner! Yippie yip yip horay!

Today I'm giving away some super-amazing unibrow juice so that you can grow yours as luscious and long as my own.

Or just use it on the other parts of your brows. Photo cred: Marci. Who "made it look sexy," which I'm guessing meant put it on a blanket. Good work, Marci. 

Or just use it on the other parts of your brows. Photo cred: Marci. Who "made it look sexy," which I'm guessing meant put it on a blanket. Good work, Marci. 

Here's mine, but really it isn't a contest. You should love your uni despite the fact that "everybody" wants huge, full, soft unis. Small unis, big unis, sparse unis, blonde unis, purple unis: they're are beautiful! Don't be discouraged!

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Selfie, be over 18 and live in the U.S. Thank you bye bye now.