Did you guys know that weed is legal up here? I’m STILL in Washington, home of 20,000 “Teriyaki” restaurants, which I’m convinced is the term adopted by white people in the Northwest to refer to every Asian dish ever besides Thai (which, let’s face it, means, “chicken Pad Thai”), and sushi (which apparently still means “slimy raw fish in a seaweed burrito with that roe s***, fish eggs!” to at least a few of them).
I ended up in Mill Creek in an ’87 Volvo yesterday on my never-ending quest for '90s skanky teenager dresses, which can ONLY be found at thrift stores. They’re the few dresses that really “get me,” you know? Bodycon to a-line to skater, always a bit too short, PERFECTLY fitted at the neckline, in some horrible cherry blossom satin brocade or heavy crepe or slinky, bouncy jersey. Byer Too!, All That Jazz, Rampage, Bebe, Express Compagnie Internationale, Betsey Johnson, Guess Marciano. And OMG, I’m forgetting the best one--it’s killing me. Whatever.
I’ve been bouncing around so much at night that I never seem to end up with my belongings. While I’m stuck here in suburbia, my concealer, favorite mascara, and about 30 different lip options are scattered between friends’ places in Ballard and Capitol Hill and probably also under the seats of this Volvo.
I’d been without makeup for days, wearing the same outfit for three of them. Luckily I’m not debilitated at the thought of no makeup. Again, “zits are cute.” AND my skin has finally started to clear up. But with being a beauty writer and all, I was in need of some material. Which meant one thing: $20 drugstore run.
Well, $30. I’m bad at math and was RUSHED by the closing announcements every two minutes for 12 at some place called Fred Meyer. It’s basically Walmart with the cleanliness of Target and the trashy teenage clientele of Valley View Mall outside of Dallas. Pray you never end up at Valley View Mall outside of Dallas.
According to a source, Fred Meyer began with just food before mushrooming into a supercenter, as American grocery stores tend to do. I will say that their cosmetic aisle game was through the ROOF. I was under the impression that Duane Reed in NYC had the jump on all the cool new drugstore brands and that eventually those products would trickle down to regular America. (I’m also an insufferable twat.) What Fred Meyer made me realize is that it’s all about SHELF SPACE.
These dudes had, like, every brand ever not to mention EVERY COLOR of Kate Moss for Rimmel in stock. Do you even REALIZE how rare that is?! Like finding an Alaia at Value Village, or a Blue Ivy sighting. It just doesn’t happen.
I couldn’t decide on a shade, and really what I wanted was a neon orange. (Suggestions?!) I settled for a nice lilac color from Maybelline’s Vivids line, Brazen Berry. I figured it was kind of like a springtime option for fashion goths.
I also bought L’Oréal’s new Magic Nude foundation because I’m a chump for glass bottles and their marketing term “un-makeup.” I’m actually super-opposed to the idea of drugstore foundation; I’ve never, in my 15 years of wearing makeup, found one worth a repurchase. I think I’ve bitched about this issue before, so we’ll leave it at that.
It worked well! I can't believe that a) I chose the right shade and b) that they actually made a shade that matched my skin tone. Oftentimes drugstore foundations are too pink or too orange. This one totally Goldilocks-ed it to my face. Yahtzee!
Plus, it did exactly what it said it does: goes on like a liquid and dries matte like a powder. I'd say it's medium-coverage; I borrowed a bit of concealer for a couple of spots, but other than that it did a good job of evening out my skin. And it doesn't feel cakey!
Finally, I HAD to get this Physicians Formula Liquid Metal Eyeliner Trio because I was intrigued at the fact that most of their products are sold in groups of three, and also because the box referred to a metallic silver cat eye as “natural.” Lol, WHAT?
I was super bummed at the tricksy packaging that makes it look like you get three adult-sized tubes of liquid liner, when instead, you get three tiny ones. It's cool though, I'm used to excessive cosmetics packaging.
The black didn't give GREAT opaque coverage like a gel liner, but I like how each shade has teeny rainbow glitter flecks. They don't smudge after drying either! I'm sitting here rubbing my arm and NOTHING'S HAPPENING.
I TOTALLY see myself using the silver again. I LOVE metallic eyes.
So I've got one more day left in Seattle, thank god. I'm ready to be back in New York. Salmon freshness isn't really a make-or-break factor when it comes to favorite cities.