I will defend my--and your--right to love beauty products to the death. OK, maybe not to the death; but if anyone tries to pooh-pooh my enthusiasm, I can't stay quiet. Even through intelligence-offending ads and assumptions of superficiality, I will gladly shout from the rooftops (or fire escape, or maybe just solid ground) how much I love stuff like lipstick and lotion.
And yet, there is a way to make me cringe over these delightful things: an effective movie scene.
I've pulled together a list of movies that can make any beauty enthusiast shudder over the thought of getting ready in the morning. Read at your own risk, xoVainers.
1. Silence Of The Lambs
Has body lotion ever seemed creepier than when Buffalo Bill tells his kidnapping victim, "It rubs the lotion on its skin"? No. The answer is no.
2. Sleepaway Camp
Judy isn't the nicest gal, but no one deserves a hot curling iron to the privates.
3. There's Something About Mary
I'd like to think that there's no nonfictional woman who would ever trust that an unidentified goo hanging from her date's ear is hair gel, and furthermore, that she'd just rudely grab it and put it in her already perfectly coiffed hair. There is, indeed, something about Mary, and that something is duh.
4. Death Becomes Her
Man, does this movie give anti-aging supplements a bad name.
I was six years old when this movie came out, and I remember seeing the clip of Katherine Helmond getting her face stretched like Silly Putty and thinking that's how plastic surgery is really done. I wouldn't be surprised if it terrified several people out of ever considering a facelift.
6. The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Unlike Brazil, which most people (hopefully) figure out is sci-fi, The 40-Year-Old Virgin shows Steve Carrell actually getting waxed and suffering. Note: This clip contains the kind of language you might expect from someone getting hair ripped out of their torso for the first time.
It's genuinely terrifying to think that someone could poison all of your personal-care products; especially if it makes you look like a scary clown when it kills you.
Which movie scenes would you add to my list? Let's discuss!