Forget "Rich Girl Hair" and "Cool Girl Hair" — I’m Making Weird Girl Hair Happen

These are the hairstyles you get when you were attempting a more conventional hairstyle but couldn't execute it properly. And that's a good thing.
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These are the hairstyles you get when you were attempting a more conventional hairstyle but couldn't execute it properly. And that's a good thing.

Summer is great for many things, but having hair isn't one of them. Rather than resort to a drastic chop to my already not-that-lengthy hair, I find myself resorting to any way possible to get the ends off my neck. Who wants a bunch of fur poking and swaddling your already sweaty skin? Not I. 

In this pursuit of neck-clearing, I have come up with some unintentionally wacky-but-actually-kind-of-interesting hairstyles — hairstyles I can only deem as "weird girl hair." It's the kind of hair that you'd find on the arty loner girl in a '90s or early '00s teen movie. This is the hairstyle you get when you were attempting another more conventional hairstyle but either couldn't execute it properly or just heaped it up lazily and with no fucks. 

If "cool girl hair" is effortlessly disheveled and imperfectly tousled, "weird girl hair" takes that attitude, adds some barrettes or whatever for an unfettered and semi-utilitarian way to not have hair totally in your face but maintain its personality. That's really what it comes down to: hairstyles with personality. 

If anyone asks—it's not a bun, it's a donut.

If anyone asks—it's not a bun, it's a donut.

The bun of all buns is not a bun at all — it's a donut. I don't condone use of those mesh donuts, but if you really want to, OK I guess. They make your donut bun-life easier, but I like to earn my donut bun. I also like how it falls apart throughout the day, all Victorian-like.

This is so stupid-easy you probably do it already and don't even know it. You literally just gather all your hair to the front of your head right above your forehead — not the top, not the crown, the front — and spin it into a donut-bun and secure with pins. 

For an express updo, just dip your head forward and let gravity do the heavy lifting. While you're down there, you can also pin the back pieces that don't quite make it all into the bun to your head. Don't worry about the piecey tendrils that fall out — let it happen. (That side-swooping bang happening in the photo above? Completely spontaneous.)

It's a top-knot, but the one that goes the extra mile — to your forehead.

An "almost chaste" hairstyle that is way easier than it looks

An "almost chaste" hairstyle that is way easier than it looks

Braids are great for using hair to hold itself in some convenient formation. This one looks like some sort of crown-bun of braid, but NO, it is just one giant braid traversing my head laterally from behind one ear to the other side, pinning the tail end in as circular of a formation as I can bend it against the back of my head. That's. Literally. It. 

Swoop all your hair to one side, like you're ney-ney'ing, and start dutch-braiding a broad section from behind one ear towards the other. 

Swoop all your hair to one side, like you're ney-ney'ing, and start dutch-braiding a broad section from behind one ear towards the other. 

If you have hair longer than mine, this will obviously be easier, less messy, and you'll have more braid to curl into a circle on the back of your head. 

Bobby pins are life

Bobby pins are life

See? Just one big ol' horizontal braid — not even catching all those reachy hairs at the bottom (they must live in pins). A dutch braid makes for a cooler pattern. Going from right to left here, the tail of the braid is pinned around the nape of my neck area. It's messy enough down there that it doesn't look super-obvious — this is how you use messiness in your favor. There's literally no way to fuck this up — that is, unless you actually do not know how to braid hair at all. Then perhaps another style is for you.

No matter how FUBAR your hair looks, stick a cool barrette in it and suddenly it looks like art.

No matter how FUBAR your hair looks, stick a cool barrette in it and suddenly it looks like art.

You know how when you're wearing your hair in a pony or bun and you take it out and it looks all weird and kinked from the hair-tie? Sometimes I think that looks kind of cool, and with some directional coaxing, it could totally be a look all its own.

Well, here's that theory to the max. I created random bends with a flat-iron but only in the middle of the hair shaft. The top is left rather flat and the ends are left to be as straight and sticky-outy as they please. 

If anyone asks, you can also just say that it's your first day using heat-styling tools.

If anyone asks, you can also just say that it's your first day using heat-styling tools.

Adding a barrette is the pièce de résistance that takes this from "disheveled high school art teacher" to "editorial interpretation of said disheveled high school art teacher." The messier the better. Shape and texture is key.

Fly-aways — now is your time to really fly!

Fly-aways — now is your time to really fly!

Don't I totally look like some sidekick character in a teen show? You know, the way-more-dimensional character whose fate isn't all about "Will she or won't she end up with handsome high school boy?" The one who's doing way-cool things, like creating a comic book and getting kicked out of college for freeing lab-test bunnies (I'm re-watching The OC and honestly, Summer is leagues much more interesting that Marisa, SHEESH.)

Honestly, if anyone needs more encouragement to wear their hair how the damn well they please, I will be your go-to hype person, for sure. They say people communicate with hair like body language, so why not send some weird signals? Let that frizz-frazz and them curls sproing! It's too hot for suspiciously coiffed hairstyles!