I’m a head sweater. I’m not talking about a couple delicate beads dripping down the back of my neck or a slight glistening on my dome; I’m talking full-on-like-an-NFL-linebacker sweating.
Summer 2003, I think my brother and I scared/scarred the entire lawn of a Widespread Panic show in Little Rock, Arkansas, with our excessive sibling sweating. We were dancing like maniacs, spraying unsuspecting concert-goers with our soaking-wet hair. Sorry, y’all! I’m a slave to the groove!
I love summer in NYC, but my head sweats like a mother. I err on the side of frazzledness in my day to day, which is a heavy head sweater's worst nightmare; and once I start, it’s really hard to stop. I should probably just learn how to be on time and not rush, but that’s a totally different issue.
When my hair was shoulder-length, I would slick those dangles high in a top knot and call it a day. I also had half of my hair shaved into an undercut so it was breezy up in there for days.
Chin-length hair, on the other hand, is a bitch to get out of your face. Keeping it down in July or August is not even a possibility for me, so I’ve come up with some short-hair updo options for those too-hot-to-even-be-alive days.
THE DAVID BECKHAM
Leave it to my main man Becks to rock a half-pony like nobody's bidness. This style is a fabulous alternative to the slicked-back ponytail longer-haired girls can wear, and if your chin-length sitchu tends to flip out like mine, go with it. He does! Bend those ends like Beckham, girl!
This style is a pretty foolproof one. Grab half of your hair (less or more depending on the vibe you're going for) and pull it back, like almost so tight you have a headache. Then secure with and elastic and spray with hairspray. Das it!
THE GIRL WITH THE PEARL EARRING
This look is for the days that you don’t have the time/energy to give one single f#$% about your hair. It’s scorching, your skin looks amazing, so throw a scarf over your head and be done with it.
Rest the center of the scarf on your forehead and bring the sides over your ears, collecting the ends at the nape of your neck like a ponytail.
Next, cross one end over the next and pull both sides back around to the front of your forehead and twist the two sides at the top of your head.
Finally, pull both sides back around, twist again, and tuck under.
Vermeer would be inspired by you.
THE CAROLYN BESSETTE-KENNEDY
This style is it when you have to look put together for a job interview, funeral (hope not), night out, whatever. Maybe just not for an outing to Martha’s Vineyard. (Still too soon?)
Start with a deep side part--wet or dry hair. Use a gel if you’re doing it wet; for a dry version, use a hairspray like Bumble and bumble Thickening Hairspray followed by pomade like Bumble and bumble Semisumo. Use a natural boar bristle brush to smooth your hair down tight to your scalp and secure with an elastic.
Your hair is obvs not as long as CBK’s, and your ponytail will most likely be referred to as a "phonytail" BUT we are working with what we’ve got here and you still look chic as hell. No fooling!
Finish your look off with a matte red lip and you will be killing it. Just as fabulous with jeans and a tee as it is your YSL Le Smoking Suit. (Buy me one and I’ll show you!)
THE SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
This hairstyle is one of my favorites for a scorcher of a day because of its simplicity. It also works best with dirty hair, so let your bizness marinate, kay?
I prefer a deep side part, but you can really wear this style with a middle or a semi, anywhere in-between. Versatile as all hell!
Start at front of your part and begin to twist your hair in towards your scalp, moving around your head, picking up more hair and pulling tightly as you move around. Secure with bobby pins at the back, and then tackle the other side.
Spray a mist of hairspray, fuzz it up a little with your hands, and your done!
THE NANCY (FROM THE CRAFT)
It's dire when I pull out the Nancy--the kind of situation where there are zero bobby pins in sight, you have one hair tie around your wrist, and your friend has another. Gotta make do!
The Nancy requires no mirror. Pull the back of your hair into two sections and tie each with elastics. That is the extent of it.
I’m a sure girl with thick, short hair, and petite features can actually make this look good. Like, Audrey Tautou would make this look so effortless and amazing it would hurt my heart. I am not one of those girls.
THE HEAD ABOVE WATER
Have you ever seen this movie?! No need, but Cameron Diaz’s hair…Perfection. It's technically not up, but she has that wet in the front/dry in the back look down pat.
Start this one with clean dry hair and use a small amount (and build) of gel to slick down the top of your hair, and lightly run the product down to the tip (just for a second, just to see how it feels).
Once this style dries, it’s going to be crispy, but just go with it, yo! It’s amazing how much better I feel when not one single hair falls into my face.
I feel like clavicle should for sure be on display with this do. I’m getting editorial vibes!
What other short-hair updos should I try?