There's enough pressure in the world to have it all and be it all — EGOT, triple threats, all-around super moms. So I will be the first underachiever to say "Ha!" and also "NOW IT'S YOUR TURN! FEEL THE PRESSURE!" to these boastful hair products from Pureology's new Colour Fanatic line.
These sleek products claim to have "21 essential benefits," which piqued my interest because I love Pureology's products — they always perform well for me — and because I'm curious as to which benefits really are the most essential, and are there actually 21 of them?
Does hair even need 21 benefits? What would hair do with all these benefits anyway? Would it share them with its hair-friends or be greedy and hoard them for itself? I did not even know that that many benefits could be had.
Here are all of the things the Instant Deep Conditioning Mask says it will do:
1. Helps nourish hair
2. Helps restore hair's healthy look
3. Fills in damaged areas
4. Locks in moisture
5. Instantly detangles
6. Restores hair's hydrated feel
7. Helps create a uniform cuticle
8. Contains UV Filter
9. Helps provide heat protection
10. Helps fortify the hair
11. Forms a barrier around the cuticle
12. Improves elasticity
13. Defies dryness
14. Helps maintain beautiful color
15. Helps control frizz
16. Conditions and disciplines
17. Helps reduce static
18. Optimizes color reflection
19. Softens strands
20. Helps create silkiness
21. Adds shine
Honestly, if this were a LinkedIn profile, these guys would be getting hit up by all sorts of HR talent recruiters. That some of these sound suspiciously redundant brings to mind how the Hot Pocket jingle may or may not have been made.
The Multi-tasking Hair Beautifier in the spray bottle has slightly different essential benefits — mostly having to do with priming, heat protection, styling and strengthening — but there are still 21 of them. The mousse-looking can is the Instant Conditioning Whipped Cream for fine hair. I happen to have coarse hair made coarser and drier with bleach, so I could only say, "Nice try!" to this guy, but my kingdom for a hair mask worth its weight in gold.
So banking on that deep-conditioning mask and then the Multi-tasking Hair Beautifier used in conjunction, I liberally doused my hair with both according to their directions and prayed to the Lord of Light to resuscitate my fragile parched hairs.
I let my hair air-dry about 70% of the way and then gave it a few blasts from my blowdryer to test the products' thermal prowess. Thumbs up! My hair dried quickly and smoothly. I wasn't expecting either of them to completely give me Selena Gomez hair but from roots to mid-shaft, my hair felt stronger (less gummy) and silkier but had a slight grip — not like a styling cream, but more the feeling from a hair oil.
The main worker bees here are camellia oil, xylose (a sugar derivative that helps protect from heat damage) and Keravis, a vegetable protein that replenishes and fills in keratin gaps. Fennel seed extract serves as an antioxidant and Pureology's "AntiFadeComplex" keeps color on your hair.
There's a bunch of "benefits" I can't necessarily survey from sight, but all I can say is that the feels are fairly legit. I can only imagine the grand triumphant feeling someone with non-chemically scarred hair like mine would reap.
My ends are still doing their best impressions of spirit fingers, but if I can run a brush through my hair and have it not come out clinging to at least 15 strands, that's not a bad brush sesh. My hair's got a much better glide post-treatment with this stuff, but I mean, let's be real — all 21 benefits? Maybe 21 is just the sexy number that can finally enter a bar, so it sounds better. These products are like the aunt that still gives you a $20 bill in your birthday card — it's nice and definitely useful, but not life-changing. But again, it's got to take a lot to spook these locks back to a life-like state (the price of platinum).
Luckily, Pureology always makes travel-size versions of their products so you can test them out before committing to the big guns.
What are your favorite hair multi-tasking products? (Honestly, I'm still riding high on Pureology's Miracle Pore Filler Treatment, which has the same idea, albeit slightly more modest marketing.)