When I was born, I was blessed with the face of an angel, the butt of Kardashian, the ankles of a hippopotamus, and the hair of one of those dogs that look like greyhounds except they have long, flowing, thin hair.
Aside from my ankles, my hair is the worst. It's always been baby-fine, dead-straight and incapable of holding a hairstyle no matter how much hairspray I unload on it. My mother would refer to it as "mousy," as in, it looks like a bunch of mouse tails. And the fact that my natural hair color is mousy blond doesn't do much for my its appeal, either.
No one is perfect I guess. Not even me. Le sigh.
I grew up never really doing much with it except dying it, because what's the point? I usually just brush it up and to the side. If I let my hair fall at its natural middle part, it just kind of hangs there all limp and useless.
I'm pretty sick of it, so I wanted to try something different. Give my hair some oomph, if you will--full-volume waves a la Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot. Carefree glamour.
I decided to bypass an actual curling iron because I currently can't afford a high-end one, and buying a cheap one and applying it to my bleach on bleach on bleached hair sent a shiver down my spine. I want to curl my hair, not burn it off.
So I did something kind of retro. I went to Duane Reade and bought some Goody velcro rollers. They were sold in packs of five, so I figured that would be enough for my thin hair. I was wrong. I had to go back and buy another set.
Now, let's make something clear: I have never rolled/curled my hair before, and I'm in no way an expert. I probably did everything wrong, so I'm open to advice if you know how to do this better.
After washing and towel-drying my hair, I proceeded to section it and prepare it for the rolling process. The rollers themselves feel like little brushes. Even though I separated my hair into ten layered sections, it still felt like my hair was too long because the rollers couldn't quite get secured tightly. They kept getting loose.
Was my hair too dry? Was that how it was sopposed to happen? There were no instructions.
After getting them all up onto my head, I let them set for some time to take pictures and relax. I then took a hairdryer to that mess to help the drying process because I hate waiting. Patiance is not my virtue.
After I was done, I began taking them out. The rollers came out pretty easily and my hair had some light curls and bounce in them for a minute. I quickly grabbed a can of maximum-hold hairspray and sprayed for my life. Here's the end result:
About an hour later, my hair went back to being straight. So straight, in fact, that we actually shot the Betty Draper look that day. My hair is effing hopeless.
So, can you help me? How do I give my hair some of the curly glamour it so desperately needs?