For the past two years, I can remember not really doing anything for Halloween. To be fair, NYC was in what’s become some nouveau hurricane season around late October. Rather than totter around Brooklyn in heels and face paint in the gusting hail (yep, 2011, totally hailed on H’ween), I’m pretty sure I ordered a pizza and watched Poltergeist in my apartment.
If you’re like me and want to participate in Halloween activities but don’t necessarily feel arsed to go all out for a few hours of painted-on revelry, have I the thing for you! THE CASUAL CAT!
What once was the go-to costume for seven-year-olds in dance leotards, you may now stroll out with however it is the way you dress! I mean, you can take it in the “sexy” route, too, if you want--I ain’t gonna stop you.
I learned this little hair trick through Grand Theft Thrift, but for those you unfamiliar with that blog, you get to sit through my bumbling translation. I only wish I had learned it earlier, so maybe last Halloween I could’ve been roasting a chicken in my friend’s apartment… with casual cat ears made out of my own hair.
All you need are little rubber bands, bobby pins, hairspray and about five or six inches of hair. Sorry, pixie babes, you at least get to wear wigs much easier than I do. Also, you look cooler in general. No pity!
It might be easier to do this with damp hair or to run some styling cream through your strands in preparation, but if you’re a real dare devil like me, you’re going in dry.
First, you take two small sections at the top and make some Baby Spice pigtails.
Now make sure they’re tight, and brush them out so it’s nice and smooth.
Starting with your right side wrap the pigtail around the base--but not too tightly--turning counter-clockwise. (When you do your left pigtail turn that one clockwise.)
Now pin it closest to the center part of your head so the outer side of the “bun” sticks up at a slant.
Good news! If it looks crazy to you, you are probably doing it right. The slant is crucial to the cat ear formation. You can fiddle with exactly how much of a slant you prefer, but once you understand the architecture of a cat ear (read: kind of a soft imperfect triangle), you’ll find your perfect pin placement.
I have really thick hair, so I need two, which I push into a cross because it’s a stronger hold and also I saw it once in a vampire movie.
OK, that’s done. Now time to shellac the hell outta those ears. If you want them to stand erect (heheh) the whole livelong night, you’re reaching for the liquid-webbing stuff. I’m using Bed Head Hard Head hairspray. It truly delivers what it promises, and as a bonus the can is large enough to probably count as a registered bludgeoning weapon. Lots of bang for your buck, so to speak.
So spray, spray, spray, and smooth the hair with your fingers going with the grain around the bun to keep flyaways--and all evidence that these are in fact NOT real cat ears--in check. You can afford to be heavy-handed with this step because, inevitably, some idiot will pat your head all like “How cuuuute!” as you swat at them because who puts their grubby mitts on a carefully sculpted coif? Savages!
All lacquered up? Great! Now time for Fun Feline Foto Fest!
Alright, that’s enough. You’re a lady. A cat lady. An elegant cat lady. Play it cool.