Finger-Drying Your Hair Is As Easy As Withstanding Mild Burns On Your Hand

This hair-drying method is useful for when you want messy, non-uniform waves.
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This hair-drying method is useful for when you want messy, non-uniform waves.

Remember that time I was wielding a stupid-expensive but really effective hair dryer? You guys were like, “That’s nice, but WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GET THE HAIRS TO DO THAT?” 

Well, calm down. You don’t have to yell, all four of you who asked.

I call it "finger drying." I don’t know if that’s some official term or whatever. One time at the salon, I overheard it being called “pre-drying” as in blow-drying with your hands before going back in and finishing with a brush. Seems kind of misleading, no? You could call it "going brush-free" or “séchez à la main” if you fancy. 

You don’t have to be really good at origami, or patty-cake, or even have steady perfect-self-manicuring hands. Y’all got fingers? Can they stand a bit of HEAT? Then we’re good to go.

I should note that this hair-drying method is useful for when you want messy, non-uniform waves. Think more Gisele than Vanessa Hudgens. Perfect for when you’re going out to a party where you know your ex will be there and you want to look like The OC version of effortless. Even more perfect for when the handle on your round boar-bristle brush snapped off and it was like a hundred dollars so you're not about to just go out and buy a new one. 

To begin, take a shower. Or just get your hair wet somehow. Then wait until your hair is about 50% dry. Now, comb it out with a wide-tooth comb.

Oh, did  mention this is an ANIMATED GIF TUTORIAL?!

Oh, did  mention this is an ANIMATED GIF TUTORIAL?!

OK, so you’re going to want some curl-boosting or texture-inducing styling goop to aid your style. I’m using Bb Color Minded Styling Balm because of the obvious reasons, plus it boasts UV protection (also because they gave it to me when I was at the salon getting my roots touched up and also it smells DELIGHTFUL).

I'm always the greedy kid at the self-soft serve machine with styling products, but really you just need enough to coat the mid-shaft to the ends.

I'm always the greedy kid at the self-soft serve machine with styling products, but really you just need enough to coat the mid-shaft to the ends.

Next, gather a small handful of hair and twist in your chosen direction. I generally tend to twist away from my face, forever taunting the feathered spirit goddess that is Farrah Fawcett. Don’t hold on too tight, it needs a bit of bounce to let air flow towards the center. Like this!

Think of it like a caterpillar doing the worm (not A worm, THE worm).

Think of it like a caterpillar doing the worm (not A worm, THE worm).

Ok, now you are ready for the heat. If you have a diffuser, great! You can start with 70% dry hair in that case. But I, ahem, do not. SO. On the low-flow/high-heat setting, I blow-dry in slow even strokes up and down, while simultaneously bobbing the twisted hair slightly to let the heat reach all the hairs in the core. 

If your hair is long enough to wrap your ends around your finger, great for you! I am not jealous or anything! Nah, it's cool I totally don't even care, you know, whatever.

If your hair is long enough to wrap your ends around your finger, great for you! I am not jealous or anything! Nah, it's cool I totally don't even care, you know, whatever.

Once it’s dry, don’t let go--blast with the cool shot button on. If you don’t have one of those, just turn the heat off and hang on for about 15-20 seconds until it’s cooled to near-room temp. Do your fingers hurt? Remember: beauty is pain. But hey, look at the cute piggy-tail curl!

05_A CURL APPEARS.jpg

Now repeat that all around your head. It will look crazy! You will probably doubt ever having followed my counsel! But fear not, little lambs, I would not lead you astray.

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If the aftermath resembles an American Girls doll after a good tug with the new family dog, you are doing it right!

If the aftermath resembles an American Girls doll after a good tug with the new family dog, you are doing it right!

Alright now, crucial styling step ahead: pomade. Good old-fashioned pomade. Take a small to medium dab, rub it between your palms and get it all warm and spready. 

Cool, so just go ahead and DESTROY your hair. I mean, “artfully dishevel” your hair to break up the curl barrels. 

That's Bb's Thickening Creme Contour, I am using. Such thick! Very contour!

That's Bb's Thickening Creme Contour, I am using. Such thick! Very contour!

I tend to focus on the ends, scrunching them upwards and also twisting smaller sections to separate them from their heat-twist families and avoid looking too intentional. Also, massage the roots around the crown of your head a bit to give some bed-heady voluminous lift.

You can do this step with spray wax if you think pomade is too heavy for your hair, in which case you’d just spray liberally on the mid-shaft to the ends and break up the curls with your fingers. 

Whichever you choose, be sure to hairspray the living hell out of everything afterwards. I mean, if your hair is anything like mine, it is heavy and wants to lie DOWN. Hairspray tells it, “NO, hair, you cannot lie down and be lazy; you must remain styled and alert and looking good!” Damn straight (or not).

How to look effortless in 3 to 5 steps, using heat-styling tools and copious amounts of hair product!

How to look effortless in 3 to 5 steps, using heat-styling tools and copious amounts of hair product!

You now look like you just woke up like this (and probably like you had a pretty good time before you went to sleep too).