One day, as I was scrolling through my Instagram, I came across a picture of the actress who plays Cece in The New Girl. Immediately, I fell in love with her face, specifically her bangs. They were bold and striking, yet still feminine and somewhat understated.
But of course I couldn't just admire them from a distance. I decided I had to have them.
At the time, I was enjoying a fun stage in my hair. Due to being a broke college senior, I hadn't gotten it cut in almost a year, and it was grown out almost down to my bum. I have this terrible habit, however, of taking good situations in my life, and crapping all over them.
Cue me making an appointment with a hairstylist I'd never met before, since the one I regularly go to was completely booked for the following two weeks--which, had I waited, probably would've been enough time for me to change my damn mind about the bangs in the first place.
So I resorted to Yelp, which, I've since decided, I can rely on for things like good burritos or coffee, or anything else that's relatively inconsequential, but hacking ten inches off the front of my head? Ugh, what I would give to go back in time and just shake myself.
In my defense, though, if you include my childhood and early adolescence, I've had bangs for more than half my life. They suit my heart-shaped face. So when the stylist was finished cutting them and they looked like dog food, I was surprised and confused.
She had taken her time, and started out conservatively as far as the length. I don't really know much about cutting hair, so it seemed as though she had taken what was already a seemingly simple cut, and done it as carefully as anyone could. To make the bangs as full as Cece's, though, she kept having to start further and further back on my head. So by the time she was done, my bangs, instead of being a triangle beginning maybe two inches back from my hair line, started pretty much in the middle of my head.
The second thing that made them look awful, and what I sometimes notice on other people's bangs that I don't find particularly flattering, is that they are cut too far out on each side, meaning they don't lie flat on the outer edges.
After waiting a few months and going to my original stylist to see if she could fix them, she explained to me that in order to have a full blunt bang that isn't bulky on the edges, the stylist should stop cutting at about the ending point of the eyebrow. Mine are cut all the way across my temples.
If you're thinking about getting bangs, I encourage you to first comb the front section of your hair forward, and see how far back your bangs will have to start to achieve your desired thickness. If you're going for blunt bangs,make up some story (you can use mine) and tell your stylist hat you've had your bangs cut too far out across your temples before, and that you'd like to avoid that. I learned the hard way that the technique of cutting blunt bangs has less to do with cutting a straight line across the forehead, and way more to do with the "triangle" shape the bangs take. Cut too far back and far out, and you'll get the front half off a bowl cut, which is pretty much what I have.
It goes without saying that there are far worse things that can happen to a person, but in the context of beauty and hair, a botched bang job is pretty high on the list. People will tell you, "Don't worry, they'll grow." Yeah, in a year! (Though the growing out process has been significantly slowed down by my insistence on trying to "fix" them and having them trimmed, and essentially re-botched. The fastest and best way to fix them is to leave them the hell alone!) But hey, it is what it is, and there's no going back now.
Here are some hairstyles I use to disguise my mullet.
(When my bangs were a little bit shorter, I'd use the bun to "create" my own bangs by pulling only some of them back into the bun, and leaving a flattering amount out. You can see what that looks like in my "Beauty Lessons from Guys I've Slept With" article.)
xoVainers, when was your last bad haircut? Are you sporting one now? Misery loves company--make me feel better!