I'm Using Colorful Hair Chalk To Distract People From My Roots

And I'll show you how in my first-ever xoVain video!
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And I'll show you how in my first-ever xoVain video!

Among the things I really am not looking forward to--including my taxes, visiting the lady doctor, moving, and getting shingles--is touching up my roots or dyeing my whole head back to black. Attaining this color took a lot of patience and meditationm separating physical pain from my state of being. When I commit, though, I’m ride-or-die, so in all likelihood, I will be dragging my ass back to the salon in a month’s time to spook these roots right and proper.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t find crazy fixes in the meantime! One option that’s never been open to me before is crazy Rainbow Brite hair colors. I’m sure all you beauty zealots are aware of hair chalk, but have any of you thought about using it as a root camo? I mean, I’m not going to blonde-ify my roots via chalk, that’s for sure, but I thought it’d be fun to highlight them with some bold colors.

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Since taking step-by-step photos would mean touching my camera with chalk-filth hands, I thought the best way to do this would be via the cinema. This way, everyone can witness the full banana of my charm arsenal, like how my nose is always slightly runny, or how my mild dyslexia is constantly mugging for attention as soon as a camera is in my face, or my inability to complete spoken sentences or describe colors.

OK, now I don’t know if the contrast was wonky on my computer-cam, but here’s one more close-up photo, just so you can see how dope my spooley brushing skills are.


For the record, if you think blondes get atención, pink gets you major points with children and punk girls with half-shaved heads and denim cut-off everythings (there was a winking situation--I didn’t know what to do).