This Is The Only Acceptable Hairstyle In Christian Grey's Red Room Of Pain

I've thought about this and Christian is right--the basic braid is the only hairstyle fit for his "playroom."
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I've thought about this and Christian is right--the basic braid is the only hairstyle fit for his "playroom."

Fifty Shades of Grey, book one, chapter 18:

“Pulling my hair behind me, to my surprise, he starts braiding it in one large braid, his fingers fast and deft. He ties it with an unseen hair tie when he's finished and gives it a quick tug so I'm forced back against him.

‘I like your hair braided in here,’ he whispers.”

Yes, ladies and gentleman, in case you were wondering, a basic braid is the best hairstyle for gettin’ busy in a red room of pain. And for this bit of BDSM R&D, we can thank 50 Shades Of Grey author E.L. James.

Obviously Christian Grey is handy with a rope (and other binding materials; ahem, see below), so his basic braiding skills don't surprise me. 

Ten bucks says he can fishtail

Why a braid and not a ponytail or bun? I’m glad you asked. I saw the movie last night* and the answers to that question are really quite practical.

  • You can't grab onto a bun. End of story. 
  • Ponytails leave loose hair hanging, which could get tangled in all that rope. 
  • If you put a blindfold over a ponytail and you don’t pull the tail out from under the strap you get a weird poofy situation. That’s not sexy.
  • About hair pulling: Accidentally yank a small section of hair (rather than all of it at once) and you could easily rip that little tuft right out. OH HELL NO! The basic braid leaves no room for error. One complete handful. Every. Single. Time.
  • And lastly, you really don’t want your loose strands getting caught in a flogger or riding crop as it’s being brandished.
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Raise your hand if you’ve already pre-ordered your tickets for the Fifty Shades movie. When’s the last time you wore a basic braid?

*Shout out to whoever gave Anne-Marie their cold germs so I could go to the Make Up For Ever screening in her place! Get well soon, Anne-Marie. 

Photos: © 2014 - Universal Pictures