My Twice-Bleached Hair Doesn't Turn To Straw With This $9 Shampoo

Some might call this stuff a God-send. I'm calling it straight-up witchcraft. And I'm giving it away to a lucky somebody.
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Annie
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Some might call this stuff a God-send. I'm calling it straight-up witchcraft. And I'm giving it away to a lucky somebody.

The most common recurring narrative in the beauty industry seems to be, "So I colored my hair and darn, it just doesn't feel the same at all!" Let's take a second to "dir" this--please tell me you're all thoroughly aware that if you bleach your hair, you're going to experience dryness, dullness, what every Garnier commercial refers to as "straw-like hair." 

There's a "Straw Dogs" joke to be made but not really because I'm not sure if any of you saw that movie. 

There's a "Straw Dogs" joke to be made but not really because I'm not sure if any of you saw that movie. 

I went for a full highlight seven months ago and while it (I) looked gorgeous, I was immensely bummed after my first at-home shampoo. It felt plastic and I'm pretty sure I could hear it squeaking as I squeezed the excess water out before going in with conditioner. I was using one of my all-time favorite shampoos, so chalked it up to the bleach job and didn't consider switching to a new one. Eventually my hair got it together and stopped acting out-- I'm guessing this had something to do with natural scalp oils making their way down the strands. It dried with the wavy, shiny body it had before and stopped feeling like cheap weave when wet. 

This weekend, fresh off of two rounds of highlights resulting in a much lighter shade, I cautiously stepped into the shower to shampoo my hair for the first time since going full-on blonde. I knew I'd probably experience breakage, along with that same squeaky Barbie hair, and seriously considered doing as some of Aura's hot nasty model clients do and not wash my hair until my next salon visit--wherein I'd have somebody else do it for me because I'm a hot model. 

Not-the-case-edness, I went for it, using Sally Hershberger's Hyper Hydration Super Keratin Shampoo honestly because it was sent over right as I was leaving the office, so I just took it with me and it ended up being the only thing I had at Dude's apartment. Seriously, I rarely use the free stuff I get-- this was a remarkable occurrence, both for the fact that I was actually getting to enjoy this certain job perk, and because stuff worked like a freaking dream. It lathered normally, letting me do the shampoo thing, but rinsed as if I had just applied a light conditioner. 

I was actually really confused-- I thought maybe I had a bunch of product build-up or something keeping it feeling slick and smooth despite being freshly shampooed, so I did the ol' repeat, and same thing. I mean, this particular shampoo is for dry, damaged, and color-treated hair, containing the wet-dream of haircare ingredients, Argan Oil, along with the lesser-known and thus more exotic and sexier Amla Oil. I don't know why I'm so surprised that it worked the way it said it would... I'm the product of years of false infomercial results and empty promises of huge Brooklyn apartments for poor people and bangs making you anyone instantly adorable? DAMN YOU, 2 BROKE GIRLS! YOU, TOO, ZOE DESCHANEL. 

Show me your fried hair in the comments (be over 18 and in the US-- ugh I KNOW, I know...) and I'll send you a whole line of this stuff-- the conditioner and leave-in heat protectant spray as well.